


In Darkness

by prepare4trouble



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-19
Updated: 2010-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 43,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prepare4trouble/pseuds/prepare4trouble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko was blinded during the Agni Kai against Azula. As he considers refusing the throne, he is given hope that the healers of the North Pole might cure him, and together with his friends he makes the journey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“No lightning, today? What's the matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?”

Azula's face contorted in rage, “I'll show you lightning!” She called upon the electrical energy and Zuko prepared his stance. He was going to win. He had taunted her and she had fallen for it. He could almost taste victory. His sister's lips twitched into a wicked smile and her gaze drifted over to Katara. Lightning flashed and Zuko realized a split second too late that he wouldn't be the target of her attack.

As blue lightning arched toward Katara, Zuko ran, launched himself into the air and threw himself between his sister and the Water Tribe girl. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would still be able to redirect the energy. Perhaps not in the direction he had planned, but away from himself and Katara. He failed. The lightning hit him in the face. He tried to redirect it anywhere, but it didn't work. He fell to the ground in pain second only to the agony he had felt after losing his first Agni Kai. Hands cradled his face and he felt himself roll around, trying, and failing to get up before Azula could deal the killing blow.

It never came. He was vaguely aware of battle sounds around him, but before he could process what it meant, he passed out.

He awoke to find himself cradled by gentle arms. The pain had subsided slightly but was still very much there. He groaned.

“It's okay, I got her.” Katara's voice. She was healing him. He thought he could hear Azula's cries of frustration somewhere behind them. He sank once again into unconsciousness.

* * *

Katara ignored the suspicious stares of the Fire Nation healer tending hovering ineffectually by Zuko's bed. She had done all she could to heal him, the Fire Nation healers had placed him in a comfortable bed with a ridiculous amount of cushions. It was strange for them, she was sure, to play host to a Water Tribe girl as she tended to the wounds of the prince their Firelord had banished and declared an enemy. But she didn't care about their comfort. Zuko was going to be their ruler, and he had saved her life.

She perched on a stool by his bed, and waited.

He lay there for hours, exhausted from the fight and the stress that his injury and healing had placed on his body. By the time he began to wake, Katara was fighting sleep. Her eyes popped open at the sound of bedsheets moving as he stirred in his sleep. He moaned quietly, turned over, and his eyes opened half way, then closed again.

“Zuko?” She spoke in a whisper, not sure whether he was fully awake, not wanting to disturb him if not.

His eyes opened again. “Katara?”

She touched his shoulder with her hand and smiled, “It's me. How do you feel?”

“Like I lost an Agni Kai.”

“She cheated. You saved my life.”

He rubbed at his right eye with his hand and blinked, “You told me you defeated her. You saved my life too. We're even.”

Katara hesitated. “Not quite,” she whispered.

“You healed me?” Zuko began to climb into an upright position, leaning against the many cushions.

“I did the best I could. You won't have another scar.”

He blinked and turned his head, looking around the room. “I can't see,” he said eventually.

Katara closed her own eyes against the fresh onslaught of tears that were threatening to fall. “I know. I did the best I could. I'm so sorry, Zuko.”

* * *

So this was how the dream ended. It had all been for nothing; the years in exile, the months in hiding, walking out on Mai without even saying goodbye. Every action he had taken in the years since his banishment had lead him here, to this hollow victory. He was supposed to be Firelord, instead he was a blind teenager laying in bed trying to pretend that when he opened his eyes, he would see again.

Katara was never far from his bedside, bringing him food and water, telling him the latest news.

“Sokka and Toph arrived today,” she said. “And your uncle sent word he should be here some time tomorrow.”

“Good.” Zuko nodded. “With me incapable of leading the Fire Nation, he's next in line to be Fire Lord. He'll have no choice but to accept.”

Katara touched his arm with her hand. He supposed she intended it to be comforting, but it was unexpected and made him jump. “Zuko, you're not incapable. I mean, look at Toph. You're still injured right now, when you're on your feet again I'm sure things won't seem so bad. Maybe I can ask Toph to help you.”

“Toph sees using earthbending. She can't teach me that.”

“No, but I'm sure she could help you in some other way.”

“Sure. She could stand up as an example to everyone of what a blind person can do, if they happen to be a master earthbender.”

“Maybe there's some firebending technique you could use...”

Zuko turned away from her, “I'm sure there is,” he said, “I stumble around setting fire to things at random, then I'd know where they were from the heat.”

“Hilarious. I'm going to talk to Toph, okay?”

He listened to her leave, and close his eyes again. He wasn't tired. Under normal circumstances he would have been up and about almost immediately. But the idea of trying to navigate through the nothing before his eyes was almost as bad as being seen by other people as he stumbled and groped his way down the corridors, so as intensely boring as it was staying in bed, he feigned exhaustion.

* * *

“Hey Katara, how's Zuko?”

Katara granced up from the ground where her gaze had been fixed as she walked and smiled sadly at Aang. “Depressed,” she said. “Not that I can blame him. I feel so guilty. If I had only gotten out of the way when he started dueling Azula, he never would have had to save me. He would have beaten her.”

“It's not your fault,” Aang told her.

He sounded as though he believed it, but Katara couldn't find any comfort in his words. “I'm going to ask Toph to talk to him,” she said. “maybe she can help.”

Aang shrugged, “Maybe,” he said. But Toph can see better than the rest of us using earthbending, and she was born blind. It's not really the same thing.”

“I don't know what else to do.”

“Well,” They reached the door leading to the garden and Aang leaped out over the steps and landed slowly and gracefully on the grass. “What about the spirit water?”

“There's none left. You know that.”

“Well, you don't have any, but the Northern Water Tribe have a whole pond full. And healers. I mean, you're a great healer, but they've got people who are just healers, they've got to be better than you at it. Well, not better, just...”

Katara had stopped listening. Her eyes shone with hope and she silenced Aang's mumbling with a tight hug. “I can't believe I didn't think of that! Aang, you're a genius.”

“Oh,” he scratched his head, “well, I'm glad someone thinks so. Now the war's over, I can't move for people trying to tell me what I should do next. If you go to the North Pole, I think I'll go with you, it'll be good to get away for a while.”

“Great, I'll see you later, okay?” Katara sighted Toph sitting in the shade under a tree. Aang watched as she ran across the garden and sighed. They had shared two kisses now, but she still didn't act anything like he imagined a girlfriend would.

Katara sprinted across the grass and came to a stop in the shade of the tree. She dropped to the ground next to Toph.

Toph stretched out on the soft grass. “Not that I'm saying the war being over is a bad thing, but I'm starting to miss the excitement. I haven't been this bored since before I left home.”

“Would you talk to Zuko?” Katara asked.

Toph shrugged, “Sure. That might keep me entertained for a few minutes. What about?”

“Come on, Toph,” Katara folded her arms. “You know what about.”

“Oh.” She propped herself up on her elbows, staring out unseeing over the palace gardens. “Give him the pep talk, you mean? No, I don't think so.”

“Why not? He could really use someone showing him how to cope.”

Toph stuck out her bottom lip as she exhaled, redirecting the puff of air upwards, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. “I don't see with my eyes, but I do see,” she said. “If he was an earthbender, I could work with him. As it is,” she shrugged, “I've got better things to do than listen to him whine.”

Katara frowned, “What kind of things? Sitting around complaining that you're bored? We're going to the North Pole, maybe the healers there will be able to help him. If not, I suppose it'll lift your boredom for a while. You can talk to him on the way.”

“Not likely, I'm not going anywhere near the North Pole. All that ice? I won't be able to see anything up there.”

“Well,” Katara smiled, “you'll be on equal footing then, won't you? I'm going to go and tell him, if he wants to go we'll leave in the next few days. I hope you'll come.”

Toph laid back down, putting as much of her body on contact with the ground as she could, and closed her eyes. As Katara walked away, a piece of earth just large enough to trip her rose out of the ground. As Katara stumbled, she turned to glare at Toph.

“I'll go,” the earthbender said. “But don't expect any heart to heart chats and blind kid bonding. It's not my thing.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, with Katara's news of their impending trip fresh in his mind, Zuko felt both excited and apprehensive. Everything he had been told since his injury suggested that he would never see again. Katara's suggestion, even with her insistence that it might not work, had given him a glimmer of hope. But at the same time, even the idea of leaving his room made him nervous. And then there was the possibility of failure. If they got all the way to the North Pole only to learn there was nothing to be done, he didn't know whether he could take the disappointment.

But if there was a chance of a cure, he had to try it.

Outside, he could hear birds singing the dawn chorus. The air coming in through the open window felt not cold, but cooler than the day before. It was still early, possibly so early that no one else would be around. He kicked off the sheet covering him and sat on the edge of the bed. The floor felt cool under his bare feet. He took a deep breath and tried to remain calm as he stood up.

Looking into the nothingness before him, he tried to picture the room. He had practically grown up in this room. He should know it well enough to picture exactly in his minds eye, yet he couldn't quite decide in which direction he would find the door. Parts of the room were unnecessary clear. He could imagine perfectly the Fire Nation banner adorning the wall above the bed. Useless now, invisible to him, it might as well not be there.

He made the decision so quickly he barely realized what he was doing. His arm shot out in the approximate direction of the banner, sending a plume of fire forwards. His aim was perfect. The fire spoke to something deep within himself, he was aware of the flames almost as though they were an extension of his own body. He could feel the fire's presence; feel as it consumed the pointless banner that had been his target. As the fabric disappeared into the flames and the flames died from lack of fuel, he felt the fire fade away and extinguish itself.

Making an educated guess as to the location of the door, he took a hesitant step forwards. Both arms reached out in front of him automatically. Swinging from side to side, searching for any obstacles that might be in his way. His feet shuffled along the ground, mindful that he was less likely to trip that way. Most likely it also made him look ridiculous and pitiable, which was why he was grateful for the early hour and the lack of an audience.

Outside of the room, his left hand traced the wall of the long corridor as he walked, while the right continued to reach ahead of him. Reasonably confident that there would be no unexpected items here, he increased his speed slightly. When he reached the end of the hall, he hesitated. Somewhere to his right was the door. 

He took one final step forward and his hand made contact with the wood. Underneath its polished outer layer, he could feel the raw material, dry and flammable It practically begged to become fuel for a fire. He resisted the urge and turned the handle.

As the door swung open, Zuko released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Outside was as dark as inside. He had known it would be, but some irrational part of his brain had half expected light to flood in through the opened door.

With no walls to touch as he walked, the garden was an infinitely huge, gaping hole in which nothing was truly there. He remembered the basic layout, but that, it turned out, was not enough to allow him to navigate. After a few steps, he turned back and made the same number of steps toward the house, but it had somehow disappeared. His hands swung through the air searching for the building, but it wasn't there. A few more steps forward – perhaps he had walked back with smaller strides – but still nothing. He had walked in the wrong direction then, gone too far when he turned around, or not far enough. He turned and tried again. Still nothing.

Zuko repeated the attempt time and again, each time reaching out for the door and touching nothing but air. He lost track of where he had tried, down many directions he had turned, how many angles he had rotated himself. He took a long, slow, calming breath and tried to crush down the rising panic in his chest. He was hopelessly lost, no more than a few dozen feet from the front door. He tried again, reached out and touched something. Wood. But the wrong shape. His fingers explored the surface of what he was touching. A tree. But which tree? There were many of them in the garden.

He felt his own heart rate increasing as he lost the fight to control the panic. Would this be his life from now on? If there was no cure at the North Pole, he would spend the rest of his life wandering through a dark maze, never sure if he was even walking in the right direction.

Panic gave way to desperation. The feeling of helplessness washed over him like a wave and he sank to his knees on the ground under its force, unable to work up the strength to make another attempt to find the way inside. He would only end up more lost anyway. Zuko sat on the dew drenched ground, feeling the energy of the sun as it rose higher in the sky, trying not to let the tears in his sightless eyes carry out their threat to fall.

* * *

At the same moment that he noticed the sound of quiet breathing behind him, he realized it had been there for some time. Someone was standing silently, observing him as he sat, lost, somewhere in the garden.

He felt the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand up. He stood and turned in the direction of the sound. “Who is that?” he demanded.

Footsteps on soft grass as the person moved closer. Zuko tensed, ready to strike if necessary. He couldn't see, but even badly aimed fire could cause enough damage as long as he had an idea of the direction.

“Prince Zuko, what are you doing?”

It was his uncle's voice. Zuko relaxed his stance.

“Sitting in the middle of the lawn at this time in the morning?” Iroh tutted, “And in your sleepwear too. This is not behavior fitting of the Firelord.”

“I...” Zuko self consciously brushed his hands down his clothes to remove any pieces of grass that might have stuck there. “I got lost,” he admitted, casting his eyes downward in shame as he spoke.

“Ah, that would explain it, then.”

Zuko found himself squashing down mild irritation as his uncle's cheerfulness. “When did you get back?” he asked.

“Just a few minutes ago,” Iroh took a few steps closer.

“So, someone told you? About what happened to me?”

He felt fingers gripping his arm, guiding his hand to his uncle's elbow. “News travels fast,” Iroh told him. “And Katara sent me a letter. I had planned to stay a while in Ba Sing Se, but that will have to be postponed. Keep holding my arm, I'll take you back inside.”

Iroh began walking. Zuko gripped his arm tightly, like it was a lifeline. If he was hurting his uncle, the older man gave no sign.

In seconds, they passed through the door, he had been so close, yet still completely, hopelessly lost. Iroh walked at a normal pace, forcing Zuko to abandon his shuffle and trust his guide. They turned a corner and he heard the door of his room close behind them. Zuko released his grip. “Thank you, uncle.” he said.

He resumed his shuffling, arms outstretched, as he made his way into the room searching for somewhere to sit. When he failed to find the chair he had been expecting and his fingers made contact with the window instead, he turned, leaning against the wall as though that had been his intended destination from the start. “How was your journey home?” he asked.

“Long and tiring,” Iroh replied, “but you surely don't want to talk about that, do you? There is something much more important to discus.”

Zuko shook his head. “Over the past few days I have done nothing but think about the fact that I can't see. I have no desire to talk about it at the moment too.”

“Not that, Prince Zuko. Your coronation. You are going to become Firelord.”

“No,” he turned away briefly then back to his uncle. “I'm not. I can't be Firelord if I can't see. I would appear weak. The Fire Nation needs to unite under a strong leader as it comes out of the war. It needs you, uncle.”

“Zuko, blind or not, the Fire Nation needs you. You forged the path to peace, now your people need you to lead the way.”

Zuko shook his head. He wanted to be able to agree. He wanted to badly to take the throne and be the kind of leader his father had been incapable of being, but it was impossible. “I can't lead anyone anywhere like this. I can't even find my own way from the garden into the house. I'm in no fit state to be Firelord when I need to be led around the house by the hand.”

He turned away from his uncle, toward the window. It made no difference to him, though he imagined the blackness turned to dark gray, the royal doctors had assessed his condition and declared that he had no perception of light. Azula's aim had been perfect, and had executed her cruel revenge perfectly. Still, he looked away because he had no desire to allow his uncle to seen the weakness he knew would be evident in his eyes.

“Self pity does not become you, nephew.” Iroh crossed the room in two strides and placed a hand on his nephew's shoulder. Zuko flinched in surprise at the unexpected contact but didn't shrug him away. “The throne is yours, do not allow your father and sister to taint your victory with this. If you do not take your rightful place as Firelord, Azula will truly have won.”

“Azula did win,” Zuko said. “She cheated, dishonored herself, but she made the victorious strike. I thought my father had taken everything from me, but just as I reclaimed it all, I learned there was much more I could lose. My sister always did know the most effective way to hurt me.”

“Although she would no doubt gloat over the result, Azula did not do this intentionally.”

“No, she tried to do something much worse. She meant to kill Katara. I should be glad of how it ended. I _am_ glad, but...”

Iroh didn't know whether his nephew was aware of the way his entire body appeared to be shaking, either with exhaustion or grief. At this point he didn't even know whether he realized his voice trembled as he spoke. He had turned away before the tears began to form in his eyes, but Iroh was sure they would be there. He wanted nothing more than to hug the boy that he had come to think of as his son, to tell him everything would be alright, but he had no such assurances to give, and any that he proffered would sound hollow and empty. Zuko deserved more than that. He tightened his grip on the boy's shoulder. “Come,” he muttered, and attempted to guide him away from the window and across the room to a chair.

Zuko reluctantly released his hold on the window ledge and allowed himself to be guided through the darkness that surrounded him. As he did, the ledge that had acted as an anchor disappeared and he found himself adrift in an unforgiving black sea. The only thing that was real any more was his uncle's hand on his shoulder, guiding him gently but firmly. _'Just like so many times before'_ he realized. All those years of his banishment, cast out into the world, lost and afraid. For so long, though he hadn't realized it at the time, Iroh's presence had been the one thing upon which he could rely. Though he had never before felt quite so lost and afraid as he did right now. Victorious in his struggle for the throne, standing in his own room in the royal place, he would do anything to turn the clock back. Even if it meant reliving his banishment.

He tried, and almost succeeded in not groping out ahead of him as they walked, feeling for obstacles. He could depend on his uncle not to let him walk into anything. But it was hard, every step was a step into the unknown. He balled his hands into tight fists and placed his arms rigidly at his sides. He trusted his uncle, he would not offend him with any action that might imply otherwise.

“You are exhausted. Sit, before you collapse.”

Zuko reached out and located the chair in front of him. He sat down and realized as he did how tired he truly was. A creaking of springs to his left signified that Iroh had seated himself too. “Uncle, you will rule in my place,” he said.”

“I will not, Zuko. We had this discussion before the battle, in Ba Sing Se. It must be you.”

“If you won't be Firelord, fine. But in all other ways, you are in charge. The title is yours too, if you change your mind.”

“I will not.”

Zuko nodded. “Then I postpone the coronation and for now you rule in my place, as my representative.”

Iroh nodded sadly. “And you, Prince Zuko, what will you be doing while I am granted the dubious honor of postponing my retirement? Hiding in your room, or moping around the garden?”

“No.” Zuko shook his head and absently ran a finger across the ghost of the burn covering both his eyes. The skin there felt rough, but he was reliably assured there was almost no mark – other than the one he had lived with for years, of course – and that soon it would be completely gone. “I will be traveling to the North Pole with Katara. She has done everything she can, but they have healers there who might be able to help me. If my sight can be restored, I will return to rule. If not...” he tailed off. If not didn't bear thinking about. The idea of spending the rest of his life as he had spent the past few days was too much to bear.

Iroh sighed loudly. Very well. I will keep your throne warm for you. And when you return – because treatment or not, you will return – when you return, you will reclaim your position and lead the Fire Nation to peace and hope.

Zuko closed his eyes and bowed his head to his uncle, his teacher and surrogate father. “Thank you, uncle.”

“No thanks are necessary. But tea would be very appreciated.”

The ordinariness of that statement almost brought a smile to Zuko's lips, though it didn't quite reach them. “I'll send for some.”

“No, tea making is an art, one you developed quite a skill for in Ba Sing Se. No one else here has the knack for it.”

Zuko once again felt the crushing weight of helplessness land heavily on his chest. “I can't make tea, uncle. I can't do anything like this.”

“Nonsense,” Iroh told him. “You can do anything you want, Zuko. We will make the tea together, I will help you, but tomorrow you will make it yourself.”

“I'm leaving tomorrow,” Zuko told him as his uncle took his hand and placed it on his elbow.

“Not before you do this, you're not. Now, you will need to concentrate, so pay close attention.”


	3. Chapter 3

Zuko had always prided himself on his independence. On his ability to survive without the things other people took for granted; security, family, a home. It wounded him deeply each time he had to ask someone for help with a simple task.

Katara led him onto Appa. The bison obligingly extended his tail to the ground and lifted it as they walked. He walked slowly, hyper aware of the precariousness of the surface they were standing on and ready to react if necessary if the bison moved unexpectedly. 

As they left, his uncle had ambushed him with a tight hug, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He could still feel the pressure of the strong arms holding him as though they didn't want to let him go. It had made him feel safe. Up here in the saddle of the giant flying bison, despite having traveled this was many times before, he felt anything but.

Appa began to move and Zuko instinctively gripped hold of the edge of the saddle.

“Okay?” asked Katara.

He nodded and tried not to react to the uncomfortable feeling of leaving his stomach behind as the bison launched himself into the sky. "Of course," he said. She sat down on his left. On his right side, someone touched his shoulder and squeezed lightly.

* * *

Once he got used to the uncomfortable feeling of motion without seeing where they were going, it was easier flying on Appa than when they were camping on the ground. The addition of the Avatar to their group had come as a surprise to Zuko. He didn't approve; the boy's time could be much better spent in other ways, but he was grateful for the flying bison. Although piloting a war balloon would have been impossible for him, he would have happily provided the flames to keep it afloat and allowed Sokka to take over that task, but they didn't provide the same level of comfort as the bison. Sailing would have been ideal but all the ships were busy with the effort to end the war and bring soldiers home. It would have been inappropriate for him to take one for this personal mission.

In the air, they were in a confined space; people didn't move around much, and anything that wasn't within arm's reach could be handed to him if necessary. He noticed how antsy Toph grew in the air. So far from the ground she was as blind as Zuko and he could understand her discomfort easily.

The group seemed oddly quiet during the flight, the conversation stilted and odd, full of unnatural pauses. He noticed it almost immediately and continued noticing until he realized the problem. Without any perception of body language, conversations were filled with gaps that he had never noticed before; without the ability to look down over the land and sea and distract himself with the view, the time between comments seemed longer; without knowing what his companions were doing, he didn't want to potentially interrupt by starting a conversation even if he did have anything to say.

When they did speak, it often drove home his feelings of exclusion. Sokka leaned over the saddle placing his head somewhere behind Zuko as he shouted, “Wow, look at that waterfall! Ouch! What? Oh, right.” and then sat down again.

“It's okay,” Zuko said. “Don't censor yourselves on my account.”

“Yeah,” Toph chimed in, “You never bother for me.”

On the ground he felt exposed. It had occurred to him, even while laying in bed trying to come to terms with his injury, that declaring the war over would not necessarily mean the end of it. Fire Nation troops had, for the most part, appeared happy to return home, but that didn't mean they were all okay with the sudden end to a war they had struggled and sacrificed to win. Especially on the eve of their victory. But the real danger he imagined was from the people of the Earth Kingdom.

They were somewhere inside the borders of that vast country now. The Fire Nation had hurt them badly. They might be mostly peaceful people, but there had to be some out for revenge. Especially against him, the crown prince, soon to be Firelord. Especially when he was so helpless.

* * *

As the others sat around the campfire on the first night, he excused himself and retreated into his tent. As he sat alone trying to achieve the stillness of mind necessary for meditation, he realized that although he couldn't see it, although it was outside and he was in the tent, he was aware of the fire. It's presence was soothing and familiar, like a caress inside his mind. The heat, too, had a presence. As a firebender, he was more sensitive than most to changes in temperature. He concentrated on the heat of the fire. Fiercely warm in the center, it radiated outwards much further than the flames themselves.

Outside the tent came the sound of footsteps. With a rustling sound and a rush of cold air through the gap, the tent opened and someone slipped inside.

"Hey, Shuffles." It was Toph's voice. The earthbender dropped down to the ground next to him. "How're you doing?"

"Shuffles?"

"Yeah. You know, the way you walk around? Sliding your feet along the ground."

Zuko sighed. "Oh."

"So what's with the sitting by yourself? Too good for the rest of us now you're going to be Firelord?"

"What?" Zuko shook his head. "No, of course not. I'm just not in the mood for it at the moment. Anyway, I don't know whether I'm going to be Firelord. It all depends on the outcome of this trip."

"Seriously?" He felt and heard her move away slightly and turn toward him.

It should have been a completely pointless gesture, the blind girl acting as though she was staring at the blind boy, but he felt himself wither under her scrutiny. He shrugged with a barely audible rustle of fabric.

"Y'know, shrugs, nods, all that non-verbal stuff? They're for sighted people. Words are easier."

"I wouldn't be able to do it," he said.

"Of course you would. What? You think a working pair of eyes are necessary equipment for sitting on a throne giving people orders?"

Zuko shook his head, "That's not what a Firelord does. Well, It's part of it, I suppose. But there's more to it than that. And there will still be people faithful to my father in the council, if I appear weak I could lose the throne and the Fire Nation could fall into civil war. Or even restart the war we just ended."

Toph inhaled and exhaled slowly as she thought over what he had said. “Do I appear weak?”

“No, of course not. You're the strongest person I know. And I know the Avatar.”

“So don't be weak.” 

Zuko angrily blinked away the unwanted tears that had begun to form in his eyes, thankful that Toph couldn't see them. He had no intention of being weak, but it was what other people thought that mattered. In politics and in leadership, appearance was everything. “It's different for you. You can see using earthbending.”

Toph sighed loudly. “Look, I told Katara I wasn't going to give you the pep talk, and I'm not. You're right, what's happened to you is nothing like my situation. If I told you it's all going to be fine, it'd be meaningless; I have no idea what it's like to lose your sight. What's happened to you stinks and don't blame you for hiding away in here, but I've met people who were blinded and managed to get on with their lives. And frankly, having you hanging around sulking brings down the credibility of all the other blind people in this group. So stop it. Anyway, I came in here because I got you a present.”

“I'm not sulking.” Zuko crossed his arms defensively, “I don't sulk.”

She stood up. “Do you want your present or not?”

“I'm not sulking. I just don't want to...”

“I'll take that as a 'yes please',” Toph told him.

Something pressed against his hand and he took hold of it. His fingers explored the rough surface of a long piece of wood about an inch in diameter. "What is it?" he asked eventually.

"A tree branch."

"Oh, right." Zuko frowned. "Of course. Thank you, Toph."

The younger girl giggled. "You can use it to help you get around. Sweep it across the ground in front of you as you walk, it'll help you find anything that's in the way. Then you won't need to shuffle around so much. Shuffles."

"Oh." He put the branch down next to him. “Great. Thanks.”

“Yeah, you're not sulking at all, are you?” Toph landed a slightly too hard punch on the top of his arm. “C'mon, everyone's about to eat and you know how the Sugar Queen gets about food in the tents.”


	4. Chapter 4

The fire was a tower of heat, only a small amount of which spread outward to warm the travelers sitting around the edge.

For appearance sake, Zuko spent the second night with his traveling companions. Hiding away would have been so much easier, but to continue to do so would be to admit weakness. Even in front of these people that had become his friends, he couldn't bring himself to do that.

They sat just at the edge of the circle of warmth emitted by the fire, where the air began to cool and blend in with the surrounding night. The vast majority of the heat radiated upwards in a long, almost conical shape, high into the night sky The slight breeze distorted the shape slightly, and the higher it rose, the further it drifted until the air cooled sufficiently for it to disappear into the surrounding blackness.

Zuko could feel it. Not just the heat pressing against his skin, but the subtle changes in temperature and the distances between them. His connection to the fire and the heat it created appeared strengthened in the absence of any visual stimuli. He had first noticed it the previous night from inside the tent, but tonight, sitting by the fire he had lit himself, the effect was so much stronger it was almost overwhelming.

He couldn't gauge the exact height to which the heat rose, but it had to reach above the surrounding woodland, like a beacon for anyone who knew how to see it. The thought was disturbing. If he had discovered this technique, alone and without tuition, he had no illusions that he was the only one. He had no reason to believe they were being tracked, but the darkness pushing against his eyes had the added unpleasant effect of accentuating his natural paranoia.

Every fire he had ever seen must have behaved similarly, but he had never noticed until now; he had never paid attention. Although the tall plume of heat was interesting, it was the behavior of the heat closer to the ground that fascinated him. As it moved outwards, it made contact with the clothing and skin of his friends. The heat that hit them didn't rise, but instead seeped in, warming them above the surrounding temperature. It allowed him to sense where they were. Behind each of the the four other people around the fire was a cooler spot where the heat could not penetrate their bodies. That further added to the overall picture, giving him a vague idea of the small area around the camp fire.

It took a lot of concentration. He realized when he heard Katara calling his name that he had been so preoccupied that he had completely forgotten to listen to the conversation around him, he had completely lost track of time.

Zuko blinked and didn't bother to turn his head in her direction, “Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

He massaged his forehead with his fingers, a slight headache had begun to throb and was slowly building in intensity. He nodded. “I'm fine. Just a headache, I'm going to go sit by myself for a while.” He got to his feet.

In a flash, Katara was by his side, holding his arm. “Let me help you. Where do you want to go? In the tent?”

“No. Just somewhere away from the fire for a few minutes. I can find my own way.”

She didn't let go of his arm, “I'm up now, I might as well help you. There's a nice spot over there by that tree.”

He allowed himself to be led away to a much cooler spot by the tents. Katara retained the heat of the fire as they walked, cooling slightly the further away they moved As she stopped, he reached out and touched a tree trunk. He turned and sat on the ground, resting his back against it.

“Do you want anything? Water?”

He shook his head, “I'm fine. It's just a headache.”

Katara squeezed his arm, “Okay, just let me know when you want to come back.” She disappeared.

Only she didn't disappear. He could still sense the heat of the fire a short distance away, and as she approached it, he could again feel the patch of slightly more intense heat as it seeped into her clothing.

The night wore on slowly. Around him, the temperature dropped slowly as the heat left by the daytime faded. The fire burned on, it's heat fluctuating as the flames dwindled and Sokka threw on extra logs.

He tried to block it out, just for a short while so that he could rest, but he could no more stop feeling the changes in temperature now than he could before he was using them in this way. It would be as impossible as stopping himself from hearing a particular sound. Zuko closed his eyes. It made no difference to the heat patterns, but it slightly eased the throbbing in his head. Without realizing, he drifted into an uncomfortable sleep, leaning against the tree.

* * *

Katara threw a glance at the sky as she sat listening to the conversation around her. It was getting late, and they needed an early start in the morning. Her gaze drifted over to their former enemy, still sitting alone underneath the tree by the tents. “Zuko's been over there a long time,” she said, “I think I'll go see if he's alright.”

“He's fine. He fell asleep about half an hour ago,” Toph told her. The earthbender was holding a piece of meat over the fire on a skewer, she pulled it out of the flames and took a bite. She winced, “Yuck. Burnt. Sokka, you want this?”

Katara watched her brother take the charred, nibbled piece of food from its skewer, put it in his mouth and chew. “Well, I'll see if he wants to go to bed, then.”

“Why don't you see if he needs feeding and burping first?” Toph cut in. “He'll have you up all night otherwise.”

“What are you talking about?” Karata put her hands on her hips and glared at the younger girl.

Toph leaned back and pointed her feet towards the now dwindling fire to warm them. “I'm just saying, maybe you should back off and stop leading him around everywhere. He told you he could get there on his own and you ignored him.” She sat up, wiggled her toes and crossed her legs. “You're acting just like my parents.”

“No I'm not.”

“Yeah, you are. Back off and let him do something for himself. He needs to know he still can. Did you know he's thinking about giving up the throne? Don't get me wrong, Iroh would be a great leader, but he won't live forever and then who knows who'd take over next? The world needs Zuko to be Firelord.” 

“He will be. The healers at the North Pole will help him and that won't even be an issue.”

“You hope. You don't know they're going to be able to do anything for him.”

“Of course they will. There are people there who have dedicated their whole lives to healing, there has to be something they can do.”

Toph shrugged, “I hope so too, but what if they can't? Are you going to follow him around for the rest of your life passing him his food and leading him to and from the bathroom?”

Aang held up a hand, “Um, Katara, you didn't really do that, did you?”

“Of course not. She's gone insane.”

Toph took a deep breath and sighed loudly. “You have no idea how annoying it is to not be allowed to do simple things without someone trying to help all the time. I get that you're all concerned or guilty or in love or whatever, but...”

“Hey!” Katara lept to her feet, bearing down over an unconcerned Toph, “I'm not in love with anyone.”

Aang frowned, “You mean not with Zuko, right?”

Katara sat down and continued to glare at the oblivious earthbender.

Aang stood up. He cleared his throat. “Well, we wouldn't leave someone asleep leaning against a tree in the middle of the woods whether he could see or not, so I'm going to go wake him up. And Katara, I think Toph might be right. Maybe you should stay away from Zuko for a while.”

He backed away from the campfire before he turned and walked quickly to where the firebender was sitting, cross legged, underneath a large tree.

“Well done,” Sokka smirked, “I think you upset your boyfriend,”

“Shut up,” muttered Katara as she blushed red.

Toph shook her head, “That joke was funnier before it was true.”

* * *

“Hey, Zuko.”

Zuko's eyes sprung open in surprise and Aang watched as his head turned from left to right, trying to see him before he remembered that he couldn't. His expression moved quickly from panic to irritation to embarrassment before he rearranged it into something neutral and unreadable. “Aang. What's the matter?”

“Nothing.” Aang paused. “You fell asleep, I thought you might not want to spend the night out here. It's getting pretty cold away from the fire...”

He shook his head and stretched. “I wasn't asleep.”

“Um,” Aang leaned over conspiratorially “you were snoring.”

“Oh. Well, maybe I drifted off for a second. It's tiring...” He paused, wondering whether he should share his discovery, “I think I've discovered a new way to use firebending.” He spoke in a low voice, reluctant to let everyone else hear him until he understood himself what he was doing.

Aang sat down on the cool ground in front of the firebender, “What do you mean?” The Avatar copied his almost whispered tone, curiosity working its way into his voice.

Zuko tried to explain what he was doing. Words failed to adequately explain the technique that he was just beginning to employ, one that he himself didn't entirely understand. Aang listened, fascinated, until he had finished.

“Wow,” Aang breathed, “I know firebenders have some kind of connection to fire, I've even felt it myself, but I had no idea you could use firebending to do that. This is great! It's like how Toph sees through earthbending, you can use it to see.”

Zuko shook his head, “It's nothing like seeing, nothing at all.” He massaged his head with the fingers of his right hand, “It's nothing more than an extension of my ability to feel heat. But you have no idea how much of a relief it is just having a vague idea of what's going on around me.”

“No, I don't.” Aang looked at the prince, soon to be leader of an entire nation and thought over Toph's worrying comments. Zuko had to become Firelord, and if there was no cure for him at the North Pole, maybe this could help him take back some of what he had lost; help him regain his confidence. It was to be expected, of course, but seeing his enemy turned friend so lost and clearly afraid was difficult, especially knowing there was nothing he could do to help.

“It's given me a headache though, and now I've started doing it, I can't seem to turn it off.

“Well, I suppose you're doing something you've never done before. Trying a new exercise makes your muscles ache, so it makes sense that this might be similar. But once you've stared doing an exercise, you get used to it, you get stronger and better at it. I bet you'll be doing it without thinking by the time we get to the North Pole.”

“All I need now is to convince everyone to carry a lit torch around with them all the time. Maybe I could make it a new law in the fire nation.” He half smiled, only half joking. As he realized the implication behind his words, the smile faltered. “Or ask my uncle to.”

“You won't need to worry about that,” Aang promised. “Katara only had one healing lesson before Master Pakku agreed to train her as a warrior, and look how good she is. Anyway, maybe we don't need torches, people are naturally warmer than the air, can you sense that? I've been away from the fire for a while now, I've cooled down. Are you feeling any heat from me?”

Zuko closed his eyes and concentrated. “I'm not sure,” he said eventually. “I think I might be, but I already know where you are, so maybe I'm imagining it.”

“Okay.” He got up. “See if you can find me.”

Zuko felt a gust of wind as Aang presumably jumped upwards, manipulating the air beneath him to remain floating for long enough to land somewhere else. Zuko frowned as he concentrated. He tried to listen for clues, but the airbender had completely disappeared. Or, he supposed, was standing next to him trying not to laugh.

This reminded him of a fighting exercise he had been taught as a child. The pupil was blindfolded and had to anticipate and dodge or deflect a series of fireballs using only his ability to sense the fire. It had been terrifying, but had improved his reactions in a fight and he now realized, had probably helped lead to this revelation.

But sensing an approaching ball of flames was different to finding a person purely by body heat. The fire was a massive source of heat to his left, it was distracting. He ignored it and applied his concentration to the area directly around him. Starting in front of him and moving his attention in a clockwise circle he tried to find something warmer than the air around it. There was nothing. Either Aang had simply disappeared, or this didn't work. The wind rustled the leaves of the tree above his head and he froze. He applied his attention upwards. Directly above his head, was a slightly warmer area. It had to be him. Zuko smiled and turned his face upwards as though staring into the tree. Of course, he could no more see in the tree now than he could when he was facing the other direction, but it served as a cue to Aang that he had been discovered.

“Wow.” The airbender leaped down and landed silently in front of Zuko with another gust of air. “That could be a useful trick. If you can perfect that, no one would ever be able to ever sneak up on you again.”

Zuko again kneaded his head with his fingertips. He nodded. “I'd have no idea of who it was or what they wanted. Until an assassin attacks, he could just as easily be a friend. But once my sight returns, you're right, it will be useful.” He took a small step forwards, paused, turned slightly and took another hesitant step. His hands clenched into fists by his sides and frustration leaked into his previously neutral expression. “Until then, I am completely incapacitated. I thought I could remember where the tents were in relation to the fire, but...” He sighed, his fists clenched. “Would you help me?”


	5. Chapter 5

Someone was shaking him. Zuko stirred slightly, and the shaking stopped. Satisfied, he settled back down into sleep. A frustrated sigh, then the shaking started again, more violently this time. Reluctantly, he pulled himself out of his dream and sat up in his sleeping bag. He blinked and looked around in sleep addled confusion until he remembered and stopped. “What?” he said. It wasn't time to leave, it wasn't even morning yet, he would feel the sun's strengthening presence if it had risen above the horizon.

The only reason they would be leaving at this time is if something unexpected happened. Something like an ambush. The thought pushed aside the tiredness and left him instantly alert; every muscle tensed and he listened for clues as to what was happening outside. At the other side of the tent, Sokka's breathing sounded relaxed and slow, as though he were sleeping. That made no sense, if they were under attack, he would be awake and fighting by now. Zuko relaxed slightly

“What's going on?”

“Shh!” came the hissed reply. Toph's hand covered his mouth. “There's something I want to show you.”

He relaxed further, there was no danger, not at the moment. He grabbed the offending hand at the wrist and moved it away from his face. He tried to match her barely audible whisper as he answered, “Don't do that, I thought...” he broke off.

“Thought what?”

“It doesn't matter.” He had spent too long as a fugitive, it had made him paranoid. “What it it?”

“I said show, not tell. Come on, before we wake Snoozles up.” She reversed out of the tent and waited, tapping her foot impatiently as Zuko crawled out. “Have you got your stick?”

“No,” he disappeared back into the tent and came out holding the branch Toph had given him their first night. As soon as he stood up, she grabbed his hand and pulled him away. Zuko stumbled as she caught him by surprise and off balance. “Hey, warn me before you do that.”

In reply, she yanked again and his time Zuko allowed himself to be led away.

They walked quickly for several minutes before he began to get the sense that she had no destination in mind. A few steps in one direction, then they turned and went another way, each step taking them further from the camp site. Eventually, he released his hold on Toph's arm and stopped walking. “Where are we going?”

Toph took a few more steps without him before she too stopped, “Here will do.” She told him

He rubbed his forehead gently,at the top of his nose where another headache was beginning to form. “And what's here? What do you want to show me?”

“Your independence.”

He heard a rustle of dried leaves as she sat down on the ground. He reached down and touched the ground, then swept his hand across a small area. It was dry and free of pine cones, sticks and anything else he didn't want to sit on, so he joined her. “I don't think it's out here. I left it behind in the Fire Nation.”

Toph took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through pursed lips, emitting a hissing sound as she did. “You need to start doing things for yourself. You need to make Katara stop helping you with every little thing. I know it's bugging you, how could it not be? So why aren't you telling her to back off?”

Zuko shook his head, “That's ridiculous.”

“Oh, really? So the other day when you told her you didn't need help and she helped you anyway. That wasn't annoying?”

He didn't answer. He gripped the wooden stick in one hand and traced a pattern on the ground, stirring up the fallen leaves and assorted mulch that made up the carpet of the wood. Yes, it should be irritating. If he had genuinely wanted to be left alone, he would have protested, but he had expected and been counting on the offer of help. If he hadn't known Katara would insist, he would never have turned her down. He had no desire to be helpless and dependent on anyone, but the fact was that at the moment he was.

Every time he had to ask someone for help, his pride cringed, and the Water Tribe girl seemed to instinctively know that. Without him having to ask, even with him actively asking her not to help, she knew what he was thinking and acted accordingly. Or he was completely wrong and it was some kind of misplaced guilt that forced her to insist. Either way, he was fine with the outcome.

But, Toph was clearly expecting an affirmative answer, and as he had no intention of sharing those thoughts with anyone. “Yes, it was.” he said.

Toph frowned, “You're lying,” she said, surprise was evident in her voice.

“No I'm not.”

She placed a hand on the ground as he spoke, “You're still lying,” she told him. “Well, that was unexpected. I thought you hated being helped, but you want it?”

“No.” Zuko cast his eyes downward in shame. He knew it was a pointless move but fighting his body's habitual response to the emotion would be equally pointless. “There is a difference between want and need. I have no desire to be helpless, but the fact is that I am. I need help, whether I want it or not.”

“For some things, maybe. But not for everything.”

He felt heat pressing against the inside of his palms, heat that would burn anyone who touched his hand. At the same time, anger clenched in his chest and he fought to remain in control. Control of both his emotions and his firebending. Loss of concentration right now could mean a forest fire, and an out of control fire in that environment could easily kill. Her words provoked anger because she genuinely believed them to be true, while he knew they were not. He wished they were the truth, but spoken by someone who had never known sight, they were empty promises. She had told him as much herself when she spoke to him before. “Why have you brought me here?”

“To teach you.” Toph told him in a gentle tone, soothing and kind. It took him aback, and even managed to calm the anger enough to cool the fire underneath his skin.

“Teach me how?”

“I'm not sure,” she confessed. “You're going to have to bear with me until I work out the details, but I'm going to. Welcome to your course, Blindness for Beginners.”

Zuko frowned but didn't reply. He wanted to protest that it was unnecessary. The trip would end with him being cured, after all. But to say that would be to risk Toph voicing the unthinkable thought – that there was no cure waiting for him at the North Pole. It was a thought lurking constantly at the back of his mind; every time he told himself that the blindness, though terrifying and debilitating, would soon be a memory, the pessimist in him whispered frighting things in his ear using his sister's voice.

“Okay, how about this,” Toph said. “I see through vibrations, it's my sense of touch. I heard you last night talking to Aang, you're learning to see through heat, that's touch too, you're feeling the heat through your skin. Am I right?”

He shook his head, “Yes, but it's not like seeing, I can get a vague idea of where someone is if I'm really concentrating in the right direction.”

Toph shuffled along the ground until the side of her body pressed against his, “Now you don't need to concentrate, you can see me.”

“I can feel you.” He corrected. There was something comforting in physical contact. The voices surrounding him in the darkness, the hands guiding him in one direction or another, they were useful, but this was the first time since his uncle's bone crushing hug as they left the Fire Nation that someone had simply been there. “Yes, I suppose I can see you,” he said. “In a way.”

For a moment, they just sat still, listening to the night. Toph broke off the contact first, moving just a few inches away, “Okay, ready to try something?”

Zuko hesitated, “Try what?”

“Keep concentrating on me. Can you track my movement?” He heard her stand up and felt the motion of the small patch of warmth that was her presence as it moved further away. She moved left, and then right. Behind him he heard an animal sound and turned both his head and his concentration towards it. He was only distracted for a moment, but when he tried to find Toph again, she had vanished.

Zuko stood quickly, his head turned left and right, futility searching for her as his hands groped outward in the direction she had gone. “Toph?” He could feel his elevated heart rate, and he knew that the earthbender could feel it to. He tried to calm himself with deep breaths.

“Relax, Zuko, I'm only here.”

Her voice came from a few short feet away, and he did relax. He had known Toph wouldn't abandon him, but the pessimist in him had disagreed.

“Couldn't you feel me?”

He felt his eyes make their subconscious downward journey once again, “I panicked,” he admitted.

“Well, don't. What do you think I'm going to do, disappear and leave you out here?”

Zuko shook his head, “I learned form an early age not to trust people, it's a difficult lesson to forget.”

“Hmm,” Toph crossed her arms and stood silently for a moment, Zuko got the distinct impression that he was being evaluated. “Do you want to do this?” she asked, “Because we don't have to.”

“I do,” he shrugged, “but it would help if I knew what we were doing.”

“Pick up your stick before you lose it,” she told him.

Zuko obeyed. In this, she was the master and he was the pupil.

“Good, now I'm going back to the camp, and you're going to come with me. No touching, I'm going to walk at a normal pace and you just follow.”

“What?” he shook his head in disbelief.

“It'll be fine. If you get in trouble I'll help you, but you won't. Think of it as a challenge, the first task I set you as my pupil. If you pass, you're going to learn how to pack up all your own stuff onto Appa in the morning instead of letting someone else do it for you.”

“That doesn't sound like much of a prize,” Zuko said. “What if I don't pass?”

“The same,” she told him. “Only I have to drag you back to camp, and we do it all again tomorrow. Good luck.”

Without waiting for a response, she began to move away. Zuko felt the heat source begin to disappear and tried to follow. His hands swung in front of him as his feet dragged on the ground. Toph moved much faster than he was willing to walk.

“Use the stick,” she called from several yards ahead of him, and he remembered the supposed function of the tool in his hand. His fingers were gripping the top so hard they ached and it took all his concentration to relax them. He swung the branch experimentally in a narrow arc in front of him, it hit nothing but dried leaves on the ground. Satisfied, he took a short but confident step. He swung again, stepped again.

When he was ready, he searched for Toph. She was gone, and he was alone. Alone and blind. Out in the forest. With no idea how to get back.

Zuko shivered. It wasn't cold, and he refused to admit to being afraid. The memory of his early morning excursion to the garden at home pressed itself into his mind and he suppressed it.

Standing completely still and concentrating on his breathing, he paid attention to the temperature of the forest around him. It was almost morning, it had been hours since the sun last touched the trees, everything was cold. He searched for the warmth of a human's body, scanning in a circle all around him. He ignored the area above his head this time, Toph wouldn't be in the trees. He found nothing. Frustrated, he widened the circle, searching further away. Then he found something. It wasn't a person, it was far too hot for that. Not too far away, to his right. And a little closer than that... he smiled. Found her.

The earthbender was moving quickly in the direction of the other heat source, which could only be the embers of the camp fire. He swept the stick, and took a step. With his end destination located, he fell into a rhythm as he walked, avoiding most obstacles and moving at a near normal pace. Swing, step. Swing, step. It was awkward and not nearly as convenient as it would have been to just open his eyes and look around, but the heat and the branch together were surprisingly effective. He was walking through the woods without any help. It felt good, in a way, but the sense of achievement was dulled slightly by the knowledge that it was caused by accomplishing such a simple task.

Toph stopped when she neared the dwindling warmth of the fire. She was still quite a way ahead of him. He had lost time at the beginning, and didn't move as quickly as she did, but now he was tracking a stationary target, it was easier. “Ooof!” Something the stick had missed snagged his foot and he landed palms down on the ground. The stick dropped from his hand and landed on the ground somewhere in front of him.

He bit back a curse and began exploring the ground around him with his hands, sweeping across the damp mulch that covered the ground. Somehow, the stick had managed to roll several feet away. Relieved, he grabbed it, got to his feet and brushed himself down before continuing.

Toph lay awake in her sleeping bag on the ground outside of the tents. The warm covering slightly muffled the vibrations she felt in the earth, and she placed her hands outside on the ground to compensate. As Zuko entered the clearing where they had stopped for the night, she sat up with a grin. “Hey, Shuffles, what took you so long?”

Zuko approached her angrily. “I can't believe you just left me out there on my own!”

“Relax, I was watching you. I can sense vibrations from quite a distance. If you got in any real trouble I'd have come back. But you did it.”

He sighed pointedly, but the girl was right. He had done it. Something that he never would have attempted without a push in the right direction. And by passing her test, he had learned her intended lesson. He was not quite as helpless he believed.

“Thank you,” he bowed, “teacher.”

She smiled, he could hear it in her voice. “You're welcome, now get some sleep, pupil. Tomorrow you practice fending off an overly helpful waterbender.”

When Zuko didn't move, she frowned and waited. She felt his heart rate increase slightly.

“Oh, don't worry, Katara's annoying, but she's not that bad.”

“That's not it. I have no idea where to find my tent.”

Toph laid back down. She understood why Katara felt the need to help him, she was fighting the urge to get up lead him in the right direction herself. She wondered whether Zuko realized how afraid he sounded, and whether he hated it as much as she did. But the way to eliminate the fear was not to help, she was sure of that. “Oh, right.” She wriggled her body deeper into the sleeping bag, “Turn left just slightly, then walk forward, you can't miss it. Tomorrow you also need to practice mapping out the camp site in your head. It'd be easier in a building, things don't get moved around so often, but you work with what you've got, I suppose.”

Her eyes closed, but she remained awake for long enough to ensure he found the right tent. If he ended up getting in with Katara, it might be funny, but he would never trust her again.


	6. Chapter 6

The camp was arranged in the same, familiar pattern. The fire was the central point from which he could navigate. He could find it without even trying. Not only did it give off a huge amount of heat, but fire itself spoke to him, it's presence whispered soothing sentiments inside his mind. Fire had been speaking to him for a long time and he knew its voice well. He could always find fire.

From where he was sitting, his tent – the one he shared with Sokka and Aang when they chose not to sleep under the stars, was directly behind him and could be located by standing, turning around and walking nine steps. To reach the the tent Katara and Toph shared, he had to turn a little further to the right before he walked, and travel ten steps. The distance between the two tents was four steps.

When someone was inside a tent, the temperature of the air in there increased. The longer they stayed, the warmer it became, and after they left, the heat lingered. He could sense the heat from the outside through the thin walls, just as he could sense the movement of the others while he was inside

The more he practiced, meditated and concentrated, the more the subtleties revealed themselves. The heat of the fire traveled further than he had realized. When the flames where large enough, he could feel their heat settling on the fabric of the tents. When the flames when too small, he simply increased their size. In the early evening when they typically landed to make camp, he could feel the echo of the sun's warmth touching everything around him, the ground, the trees, rocks, pebbles. Even different surfaces felt different, he could tell before he touched it whether he was about to walk on grass or stone, or sand. The trick was in the interpretation of what he was feeling. And in maintaining concentration and clarity of mind.

The further north they traveled, the colder it became. It began with the nights growing chilly, then the days followed suit and the nights became freezing. The sun's light held no warmth in the wintery north and he was forced to rely on the fire once again. The sun's presence was still noticeable in his mind, but with no light and decreasing amounts of heat, he began to miss it anyway.

He knew the feeling well, the uncomfortable, lost feeling that he remembered from a winter in the Arctic Circle long before the Avatar returned, when he was still wandering, searching the world in vain. The days became shorter and shorter, until one day the sun set and did not return. After two weeks the crew couldn't take it. His uncle had spoken to him on their behalf and he had taken little convincing to order then to sail south.

Their first glimpse of the sun after such a long period of darkness had been like a glass of water to a man dying of thirst.

The five of them sat on the ground in a small circle by the campfire. The bitter wind forced Momo to snuggle up to Aang, while on the other side of the tents, Appa lay on the ground and began to sleep. The small of food permeated the air, and the sounds of people, mostly Sokka, eating punctuated the conversation.

Toph shivered. “It's too cold up here. Sooner or later I'm going to have to start wearing something on my feet.” she sighed in resignation.

“Better than frostbite,” Sokka assured her, as Katara nodded in agreement. “One of our dad's friends got trapped out in the snow one night when he was around my age. He lost a couple of toes and fingers, and he was dressed for a blizzard.”

Toph pulled a face and wiggled her toes in sympathy. “Maybe I'll get some gloves too. We're passing another town before we get there, right?”

Aang nodded, “I'm sure there's somewhere not far from here.”

“I hope so,” Sokka said, “We're going to need some more food before we get to the North Pole.”

Zuko agreed. The way the Water Tribe boy ate, it was amazing he wasn't his uncle's size. He turned to Toph, and spoke softly. “Will you still be able to see? If you wear shoes?”

“Yeah, kind of. Not as well. And when we get up to ice city, not at all.”

He nodded and reached for his cup of water. He misjudged the distance and his hand clipped the side of the cup, knocking it over before he could grab it. Katara caught most of the liquid before it spilled and redirected it back into the cup. Zuko clenched his hand into a fist and pulled it back quickly. He pounded the fist hard into the top of his leg and winced. “Sorry.”

“Keep your hand low,” Toph reminded him, “You won't knock things over if you hit them at the bottom.”

“I know. I forgot. Excuse me.” He got up and retreated from the group. _Stand, turn. Nine steps, reach out and hope you didn't misjudge._ His hand touched the tent. Relieved, he stooped down and went inside. He sat on the ground and reached to the left, to where he was sure he had left his bag. Relief again as he found it in exactly the right place. Toph would be pleased, if she were watching. Which, he reminded himself, she possibly is.

From his bag he retrieved a candle, lit the wick with a touch of his finger and placed it in front of him. Even the tiny amount of heat given off by the small flame radiated outwards, touching the surfaces inside the tent. The walls, the ground, Sokka's rolled sleeping bag by the entrance. He concentrated on these things, trying to glean as much information about each as he could, simply from the heat. Sometimes, when he tried it, he found he could see more than others, sometimes less. All in all, he believed he was slowly improving.

Tonight was not one of the good nights. Focus eluded him.

* * *

Toph shivered as they walked through the small town. She knew once she covered her feet the cold wouldn't seem so biting, but she was reluctant to put on the fur lined boots she had bought from the market stall. They were comfortable enough, and expensive too. One of the perks of being friends with the leader of the Fire Nation, or soon to be leader, was that they no longer had to scrimp and save, or cheat, or steal clothing from washing lines. She might have felt bad about letting Zuko pay, but he could afford it, and he had insisted.

So the boots swung in the air as she walked as she holding them by their laces. She wore the gloves and the hat, they were wonderfully cozy. The people here obviously knew a thing or two about keeping warm, and the market was well stocked with cold weather clothing. Of course, this was supposed to be summer. Late summer, true, but still. What winter would be like, she didn't think she even wanted to know.

Inside the stone buildings, she could feel people settling in for the evening, mothers preparing meals, children running around while weary fathers tried to get some peace and quiet. Something cold and wet landed on her nose and she brushed it away.

“It's snowing!” Katara exclaimed.

Aang was practically bouncing up and down with excitement, you'd think he'd never seen snow before. Even Sokka seemed pleased at this turn of events. Only Zuko, walking somewhat sullenly at the back of the group seemed unimpressed. His stick scraped along the ground and all his concentration seemed to be taken up by following them as they walked around the almost empty marketplace. She wondered how much, besides the location of people, he could tell here with no fire and no warming sun. Probably not much. She slowed her pace, allowing the others to overtake her until she was walking next to the firebender. “I really hate snow.” she told him.

“Then you're going to love the North Pole,” was his answer.

She sighed and thrust gloved hands into her pockets. The boots hanging from her hand bumped against her leg.

“Are you wearing your shoes yet?” 

“Nope.”

Zuko slowed his pace slightly as the conversation distracted him from the task of navigating the market. “How can you feel anything through your feet if they're numb from the cold? And Sokka wasn't joking about frostbite.”

“Alright, fine. Point taken.” Toph knocked the swinging boots against her knee as she walked. They weren't heavy, maybe more vibrations than she thought would get through. “When we get back to the camp. I don't want to be wandering around the town not able to see.”

Zuko seemed to miss a step, as though he had tripped over nothing. He stopped for a fraction of a second, barely long enough to count as a pause, then continued walking without remark. Toph waited, matching his pace. She had grown so used to making those kinds of comments that she hadn't thought. She use them as gentle reminders, pointing out without rubbing people's faces in it, just how good she really was. Her earthbending skills meant her blindness was often forgotten or overlooked. But not by Zuko. Definitely not anymore.

The silence stretched a little too long, before he replied. “Yes, that does sound unpleasant.”

Toph grinned. Handled like a pro, exactly what she would have done. She thought she detected a hint of a smirk in his voice, but it was difficult to tell. He kept his emotions well guarded, and unlike most people's, they didn't convey themselves well through the earth. Not only that, but he had been right about the effect of the cold on her feet, she was starting to miss things.

“C'mon,” she said, thumping his arm lightly, “Sokka's stopped by one of the stalls, I think he's going to buy something stupid, we don't want to miss the mocking.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Oh! It's been too long since I've seen snow!” Katara leaned over the side of the saddle and gazed over the scene beneath them.

As Appa descended his level of flight to search for a suitable place to make camp, Zuko frowned. “You saw snow last night,” he reminded her.

“A few flakes. Nothing like this. Everything is covered, but it's not like at the poles, there are trees here, and snow has settled on every branch and leaf. It's so beautiful.”

Zuko folded his arms and rested his chin on one bent knee. “I'll take your word for it.”

Katara bit her bottom lip and sat back down, still staring over the side at the view. “You'll see it on the way back.” she told him.

“I have seen snow before, you know. It's white, it's cold and I'm not particularly interested in seeing it on top of trees.” He was lying. At this point he was interested in seeing anything at all, even if the only thing on offer was snow. He pressed the skin of his forehead into his knee and turned his head slowly, feeling the pressure move across the skin. He was sun starved. Perhaps not physically, the sun was still there in the sky, giving him its energy, but without light and heat it felt almost as bad. “Sorry.” He muttered.

“Don't be. I was being insensitive.”

Zuko raised his head and shook it angrily from side to side. “Don't. Don't...pity me. I refuse to be treated like a child who might have a tantrum at any moment. You don't need to step on eggshells around me.”

“I know. I...” She was interrupted by the bump of impact as Appa hit the ground and skidded along the snow to a halt. Her chain of through broken, she touched his arm, “Come on down. Snow might be cold, but it can be a lot of fun.”

* * *

Sokka grinned as he knelt down and picked up a handful of snow. Katara was looking the other way, she'd never see it coming. He squashed it into a round shape and tossed it in her direction. It hit her on the back of the head and disintegrated in a tiny white explosion.

“Very mature,” said the waterbender. She brushed the it out of her hair, pulled up her hood and swept her arm in a circular motion. Around them, snow began to rise from the ground and form a large, loose ball. Sokka saw what was coming and frantically tried to escape, but the snowball moved above his head and dropped, covering him from head to toe.

Sokka shook himself and brushed most of the snow back onto the ground. “No fair, that's cheating!”

Aang grinned, “Looked fair to me.”

“Sorry, Sokka,” said Katara. Her voice dripped with mock sympathy, “I guess it's not as much fun pelting your sister with snow any more when can fight back, is it?” She looked around the wide clearing where they had landed. The ground and trees were laden with snow, every piece of wood they found would be wet, but she could easily draw the water out before it was burnt. A quick wave of her hand and she flicked another coating of snow over her brother. “Okay, the snowman here can set up the tent; Aang and I will find some firewood. Toph, do you want to come with us or stay here?”

The earthbender shook her head, “I'm not heading out into that fuzzy, freezing blur. Especially not with my feet covered up.”

“Okay,” said Katara, “Come on, Aang, we can practice snowbending while we're out there.”

Zuko crossed his arms, “I'll stay here too, don't worry about asking me,” he muttered when they had moved far enough away not to hear. As Katara and Aang walked away and Sokka busied himself searching noisily through a bag, Zuko noticed that Toph was standing remarkably still, so close to Appa that it was difficult for him to differentiate between the tiny patch of heat that denoted her location, and the much larger one that was the bison.

He turned toward her, “Toph?”

She made a small sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Now there's a layer of frozen water between me and the ground. That, plus the shoes and I can hardly see anything. The closer we get to your cure, the worse I can see.”

Of course. Interference from the snow hadn't even occurred to him. “We can handle setting up the camp, if you want to wait on Appa.”

She took a slightly hesitant step forwards. “Doesn't seem fair, me forcing you to do things for yourself this whole time if the instant it gets a bit cold I sit around and let someone else do all the work.”

Zuko shrugged, “I don't mind.”

“Well,” Toph backed off and the heat of her body moved close enough to Appa's that they merged into one and she disappeared completely. “If you insist.”

Zuko allowed himself the tiniest of smiles before he turned back to Sokka. “That sounded like a lot of snow.”

Sokka swept his hand over his clothing, brushing off more onto the ground. “Yep. Don't mess with a waterbender. And now she's probably teaching Aang the same move so the can ambush me later. If they don't spend the whole time kissing.” He pulled a face. He knew Zuko couldn't see it, but it still felt good. “It's so unfair, them getting to be a couple when they know how much I'm missing Suki while she's on Kyoshi Island.”

Zuko frowned, “A couple? Katara and Aang? When did that happen?”

“Yep, about a week now. Just after the end of the war. Why, were you hoping _you_ had a chance?”

“What?” He shook his head, “No. Of course not.”

“Good.” Sokka began pacing up and down. Zuko felt him move and heard footsteps crushing the snow. “You're an okay guy, Zuko. Now you're not trying to kill us, that is. But if my nieces and nephews started spitting fire when they had a temper tantrum? No, just...no.”

Zuko laughed, “And I'd love to see the faces in the royal court if the next in line to the throne turned out to be a waterbender.” Sokka was still pacing. Zuko frowned, “What are you doing?”

“Compacting the snow so we can pitch a tent, feel free to join in at any time. Are you saying there's something wrong with being a waterbender?”

“No, of course not. Just as long as you're not supposed to be Firelord one day.” He moved to the area where the second tent would be pitched and tried to copy Sokka's movements, up and down, feeling the snow compacting beneath his feet.

“Good point. Anyway, you've got a girlfriend, haven't you? What happened to her? Have you seen her since the war ended?”

Zuko's expression darkened slightly, “No. I haven't _seen_ her, or anything else, since the war ended.”

“Right.” Sokka sighed. “Sorry.”

The firebender stopped treading the snow and came about as close to a smirk as Sokka had ever seen. He glared at him in irritation. “You've been spending too much time with Toph. You're picking up her weird sense of humor. Jokes are supposed to make people laugh, not feel bad!”

“Sorry.” Zuko shrugged, “Nothing about this situation feels particularly funny to me. To answer your question, Mai came to visit me while I was injured. I sent her away.”

“Why would you do an idiotic thing like that?” Sokka demanded.

Zuko turned around, stepped slightly to the side and began treading a new line of snow.

“Zuko, why?”

He sighed quietly and aimed his eyes downward as he responded in a soft voice, “Because she deserves better than to spend the rest of her life caring for someone who can't do anything for himself.”

“That's crazy.” Sokka had stopped treading the snow as he listened to what Zuko had to say. Now he turned away and resumed the task. “The whole point of this trip is to get you healed.”

“When I spoke to her, I didn't know might be a cure. And if it doesn't work,” he shrugged, “she would have stayed with me whatever happens, and she deserves so much better.” He was sure he had compacted enough of the snow, so he turned and calculated the approximate location of the unpacked tent. Stick swinging, tracing a pattern on the surface, he walked quickly in the right direction until the stick hit the bag, then knelt down to start unpacking.

Sokka sighed. “If Toph heard you talking like that, you know she'd kick your butt. You're pitching a tent in the snow halfway between nowhere and the North Pole. Whatever happens, you're going to be fine.”

“Fine?” Zuko dropped the tent he had been unfolding and turned on the slightly younger boy as he felt all too familiar anger begin to cloud his mind. “Well, if I'm fine lets call off the trip to the North Pole and go home. I'll send Mai a letter by messenger hawk so she knows we're coming... Oh no, wait, I can't. Because I can't write, or read, or do anything I used to take for granted without a lot of effort or help. But I'm fine, really.”

Sokka regarded the firebender warily. Only a few short months ago, they had been enemies, but he now considered him a good friend. One that had risked his life to rescue Sokka's girlfriend and father from the Fire Nation's most notorious prison. He wanted to help, but he didn't have his sister's way with words, or Aang's contagious positivity, or Toph's blunt, no nonsense style of encouragement. What he did have was a sense of humor and a lot of snow.

He knelt down in the uncompacted snow next to the tent area and picked up a handful, shaped it into a round shape and grinned. “Hey, Zuko, think fast.” He tossed the snowball in the direction of the firebender.

Zuko had turned back to the tent, and spun around at the warning. He was rewarded with a snowball to the chest. As it exploded, the snow burst upwards and hit him in the face. Zuko froze completely still.

Sokka watched as the snow melted quickly and dripped away onto the ground. Zuko didn't move.

“Zuko?” Sokka called eventually.

The prince blinked. “Did you just throw a snowball at me?” he asked.

“Erm.” Sokka shrugged, “Yes. But in my defense I did think you had some kind of temperature seeking superpower going on, and snow is cold, so I figured you'd see it.”

“Well, I didn't. Look around, we're surrounded by snow. How would I notice a bit of snow coming towards me in a field full of it?”

Sokka shrugged, “Sorry, I wasn't thinking. You're not going to blast me with fire now, are you?”

Zuko knelt down and gathered up some more snow. “No. You've already selected the weapon.” He could feel Sokka's body heat to his right. He balled the snow. It made a satisfying crunching sound as he squashed it, and put up little resistance. He took careful aim and threw it in Sokka's direction.

Sokka gasped in surprise. “Right in the face?!”

Zuko allowed himself a small victory smile, “I can't sense the snowballs, but I can find my target.” He picked up more snow and threw it hard.

Sokka dodged this time, Zuko felt him moving to the side and then closer to the ground as he knelt to collect more weapons. As Sokka stood up, Zuko dodged, anticipating an attack. Cold snow brushed against his ear as he narrowly escaped being hit in the face. Dodging was down to pure chance as there was so little difference between the temperature of the snow and the air around them. He could sense Sokka's movements and anticipate his attack, but aiming to hit his opponent was easier.

He pelted Sokka with snowball after snowball while the Water Tribe boy put so much effort into dodging that he could barely throw any back.

Eventually, Sokka stopped, breathing heavily from the exertion. “Okay, you win. How are you doing that?”

Zuko offered him a hand up from the ground. “The more you run around, the more your body temperature raises, and the easier it is for me to tell where you are.”

“That sounds useful for in a fight.”

“It has its limitations. When you attacked, I couldn't see where to dodge. I could get an idea of where to aim, but that's all. It's like only being able to see half of a picture. Less than half really. The only things I can sense at the moment are you and Appa in an expanse of cold. And that's only when I'm really concentrating. It's very frustrating.”

Sokka closed his eyes for a moment and tried to imagine. He couldn't, he knew, even come close to understanding how it would feel not to be able to open them again. Firebending or no, it was a frighting prospect. The wind blew a cold gust and he shivered. “Well, it's pretty dark tonight, thick snow clouds covering up the moon, so in defense of my snowball skills you probably beat me because you can see better than I can at the moment.”

Zuko shook his head. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Sokka tossed one final snowball that struck his opponent on the back of the head.

“We should put the tents up before the others get back.” Zuko reminded him as he melted the snow in his hair. He walked back to the tent he had left on the ground and continued unpacking. Sokka watched him work. Just a few days ago, he had been sitting on his own barely speaking. Toph was a good teacher. And whatever Zuko may think, Sokka knew he'd be okay.


	8. Chapter 8

The further they flew over the Arctic ocean, the more the water gave way to the ice. At first, just smaller icebergs, then larger masses of ice and snow, big enough to be islands. Eventually, the distinctive ice structures of the Northern Water Tribe appeared on the horizon, gleaming in the watery sunlight, and grew swiftly larger as Appa moved towards them. 

As they came in to land, Katara leaned over the side of Appa's saddle to get a better view. Toph sat with folded arms and a sulky expression, while Sokka and Aang watched the approach with interest and mild excitement. Momo shivered and snuggled up to Aang.

Zuko drummed his fingers on his knee and took a deep breath. He remembered the Water Tribe city well. Beautiful, glistening structures of ice, sculpted like stone and just as strong. To someone who had grown up in the warmer climate of the Fire Nation, where ice and snow existed only in stories of some far away land, it had seemed an almost impossible place, even after years of traveling the world.

Of course, he had had other things on his mind back then than architecture. As he did now too, but he attempted to remember the city n order to take his mind off of other things.So much was resting on this visit What happened here would effect everything, his future, life as he knew it. Everything depended on what he was about to be told. He took another breath and tried to quell the churning in his stomach. It had been a long time since he had been so much at the mercy of his emotions.

Appa bypassed the ice wall separating the city from the surrounding ocean and ice, and touched down in the middle of the city gently, but still with forward momentum. He skidded as he landed, and came to a stop with a grunt of displeasure. In the saddle, Sokka and Toph were jerked forward and landed unceremoniously in a heap at Zuko and Katara's feet.

“Get off me!” Toph pushed Sokka away and the Water Tribe boy got to his feet and descended onto the icy ground with a grin. Aang leaped down and floated gently to the ice below, while Katara hesitated watching Zuko with concern.

The prince took a deep breath of icy air and exhaled very slowly. Katara could see the apprehension in his expression. “Ready?” She asked

Zuko gripped the branch Toph had given him tightly and nodded. “Of course.”

“Okay, how are we going to to do this?” She took hold of his arm. “Do you want me to...”

“No, he doesn't, he's fine. We're both fine,” Toph interrupted.

Katara hesitated for a moment, but seeing that to stay would mean a pointless argument, she nodded, “Okay,” and climbed down to the ground.

“How exactly are we fine, Toph?” Zuko asked as he heard the crunch of Katara's feet landing on the snow below. “Unless I'm mistaken, you can't see any better than I can here.”

“Worse, actually. Did you know there isn't even any earth under this place? It's just a floating piece of ice that never melts.”

Zuko frowned. “You don't seem particularly worried about that.”

“I'm not. I trust you to lead me.”

The comment didn't register at first, when it did, Zuko almost laughed. “What?”

“You can see better than I can here. You're in charge. Lead on.” She grabbed his arm as a demonstration of her meaning.

“That's ridiculous,” Zuko told her. “Let go.”

“No way. Seriously, use your stick, walk behind someone so you can follow them and get me safely to wherever we're going. We agreed, I'm your teacher. This is going to be your last lesson, manage it, and you pass.”

Zuko took a slow, deep breath. The air was icy. The cold didn't bother him particularly, he was able to warm himself sufficiently that it didn't matter, but he could feel Toph shivering through her touch. He wished he could warm others the way he warmed himself. “Alright, let go of me until we're on the ground,” he said. Toph did as he asked and he descended onto the ground. He had climbed down from Appa dozens of times without vision, but this time was the most nerve racking. Not because of the climb itself, but because this was the end destination. The whole trip had been for this. Soon he would know, one way or another. He would either see again, or he wouldn't. Behind him, the warm area that was Toph followed him down. She moved closer to him and he felt her body heat make contact with his own as she grabbed his arm.

Not too far away, a group of people were standing, waiting for them. They stood close together, making it impossible to differentiate between them, but there were more than there group. A giant flying bison landing in the middle of your city would attract quite a lot of attention, he supposed.

“Sokka and Katara of the Southern Water Tribe,” said a voice from the crowd. “And of course, the Avatar. And two new friends. Welcome, to all of you.”

“We need to speak to a healer,” Katara said, somewhat bluntly. Zuko appreciated her directness, but didn't want to offend anyone when so much rested on these people's actions. He hoped he had missed some non-verbal communication that would make that appear less rude.

The same woman responded, sounding not at all offended. “This way, Chief Arnook is expecting you.”

“He is? Why?” Katara turned to Zuko and Toph before she got an answer, “Zuko, do you need any help?” she asked.

Zuko shook his head, “No, Toph's right, we're fine.”

Toph was holding his arm a little too tightly. He felt a stab of empathy for the younger girl. “Ready?” He asked.

“Lead on.”

He stick slid easily over the surface of the ice, leaving a pattern as it did, which he and Toph then trampled into oblivion. He followed the four heat signatures of their three companions and the woman leading them, staying a little way behind in order to follow them without tripping them up. The ground was smooth, but somehow not slippery, obviously carefully crafted by the waterbenders – the city's architects and builders as well as warriors and leaders. This was a place based entirely around by the element its people wielded. Not for the first time, he thought about what had been taken from the Southern Tribe with the loss of their benders.

Behind him, Toph still held his arm tightly and walked carefully, as though expecting to fall into a hole or trip on an unexpected raised area at any second. He wasn't offended; he was hardly the most reliable guide. “Stupid shoes aren't making me any warmer,” she muttered. “I'd take them off if it would do any good. Are the buildings made of ice here too?”

“Yes,” Zuko nodded.

Toph gritted her teeth.

“It's... quite beautiful, actually. I didn't have the opportunity to appreciate it when I was here before, but it is an amazing place. Or it was, before the Fire Nation started blasting it into water. I hope they've managed to rebuild.”

Toph shrugged, “I just don't know how people can live in such a hostile environment.”

“They adapt to their circumstances,” Zuko told her. “My uncle always says it's possible to get used to anything. He said it a lot when we were on the run, before we reached Ba Sing Se. I didn't believe him then, but he's right. With enough time, it's possible to adapt to anything.”

His stick made contact with an ice wall. The conversation had distracted him from the task at hand and he realized Katara and Aang had disappeared. In front of him was a narrow area of warmth a little taller than his own head. He ran the stick along the ice wall and it lurched forward into the warmth as it reached it. A door, then. Presumably he had lost them as they moved into a warmer area. Or they were about to crash a private party. He stepped inside and Toph followed.

Despite being made of ice, the walls insulated the air inside from the arctic temperature on the other side and it was warm inside the building. Zuko stood for a moment, trying to adjust. The freezing air meant even the tiniest bit of warmth was easy to feel despite his own thick clothing. Inside, in the warmer air, the difference between people and the surrounding area was more difficult to differentiate.

The sudden change from cold to warm made him shiver slightly, and as he acclimatized he realized there were more people inside than he had been following.

“We're over here,” Katara called. She moved toward them and took hold of Zuko's arm. He allowed himself to be led across the room, Toph still following him. When they stopped at he other side of the large room, the earthbender gave his arm a squeeze. “You pass,” she whispered, and let go.

Katara was still holding his arm as she sat down, Zuko followed her. “They were expecting us,” Katara explained. His nose caught the smell of food.

“We were expecting you yesterday,” said a woman's voice, “but travel over such a long distance is not an exact science.”

“How did you know we were coming?” Aang asked.

“I received a message delivered by a hawk, explaining the purpose of your visit,” explained a man's voice. “It requested we be prepared to receive you and have anything we might need to hand.”

“My uncle,” said Zuko.

“His words were fraught with worry. I told him we would do what we could.”

“This is Chief Arnook of the Northern Tribe,” Katara explained.

Already seated, Zuko bowed his head in the direction of the man's voice. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

“For the man who intends to bring an end to the war, anything.”

Zuko shook his head. “Aang ended the war, my job is just to keep the peace.”

Arnook laughed. “I think you will find that an even more difficult task.”

Katara pushed a plate of food in front of him and Zuko touched the table. He could find no chopsticks of other eating utensils, and so explored the plate carefully with his fingers. He wasn't hungry, but a meal had been prepared for him. He was one of the people who had brought the war to this man's front door. He had no choice but to accept.

He raised a piece of food to his mouth and bit. Water tribe food. It was strange, but not too bad. Something told him that it might actually a blessing that he couldn't see the food in front of him. He had heard Aang's description of Water Tribe food. Even taking into account that it had been filtered through the mind of a strict vegetarian and designed to slightly annoy his Water Tribe friends, Zuko wondered how much of it was based in truth. Sea Prunes. Yuck.

“Yugoda, our chief healer, has been called away on urgent business,” Arnook told him. “As soon as she returns, she will send for you.”

Zuko nodded his acceptance while his stomach flipped with excitement and nerves. He had waited this long, he told himself, a few more minutes wouldn't make that much difference. But they did. They were here, and still he was waiting. Each minute seemed to stretch into hours, while around him he caught a few words of the conversation, too preoccupied to follow it properly.

* * *

“Prince Zuko, are you ready?”

Zuko blinked in surprise. He hadn't noticed another person enter the room, but there she was, standing behind him to his left. A young girl, by the sound of her voice, and the weakness of the heat signature of her body suggested that her clothes and skin had been cooled by the Arctic air. “Ready? Are you the healer?”

She laughed with embarrassment. “No, just one of her students. She sent me to bring you.”

Zuko got to his feet, “I'm ready.”

At his side, Katara stood up and took hold of his arm. “I'm going with you.”

“You don't have to.”

“I know I don't. I want to. If it's okay with you, of course.”

Zuko hesitated. What happened in the next minutes would affect the course of his entire life from this day on. It was an important moment. He had spent the journey denying the possibility that the healing would not work, but now it came to the time to try it, the thought assaulted him without warning and he knew two things with absolute certainty. That should it be bad news, he wanted to be alone to absorb it, and that he would need someone to be there. He wished, not for the first time, that his uncle had made the journey with him. He nodded his agreement. “If you like.”

He allowed himself to be led out of the first building and through the freezing streets to another. It was the first time in several days that he had been led rather than finding his own way or following someone else. Part of him wanted to pull his hand away and insist on following, but his concentration was shaken and he didn't seem able to calm himself enough to get it back.

They entered another building after a short walk. The wooden door attached to the ice didn't creak, but signaled it's opening with a blast of warmth anyone would be able to feel. Inside, there was fire. Three small fires, placed away from the walls. Heat radiating upward probably damaging the roof, if it was made of ice. Which in this place, it probably was.

“Prince Zuko, please come inside. Katara, it's good to see you again. How is your Grandmother?”

Katara smiled at the elderly healer, “It's good to see you again too, Yugoda. I haven't been home since we were last here, but Master Pakku tells me she's fine.”

“Good, that's very good.” She crossed the room and took Zuko's arm. He fought the urge to resist. It had been less than a week since Toph began urging him to take back his independence, but her lessons had stuck, and it went against all of them to allow people to drag him around an unfamiliar room. Even before, he had held the arm of the person leading him, not the other way around. But the healer was the reason he was here, so as much as it went against his instincts, he allowed himself to be pulled to the other side of the room.

“Sit here.” She told him.

He explored with his fingers and found a wooden bench covered with a padded blanket for comfort. He sat down and waited.

“Waterbenders feel comforted when they are surrounded by their element,” she told him. “I understand this is true of other benders, but I know very little of fire. I had the torches brought inside on the assumption that our people are not so different.”

Zuko nodded. The fire's presence was soothing, as it always was. “Do you think I'm going to need to feel comforted?” It had been intended as a joke, but his voice came out tense and nervous.

Yugoda pushed his shoulders backwards. “Time will tell. But in any healing session I like to make my patient as comfortable as possible. Please, lie down and relax.”

He did as he was asked. Yugoda walked around him to the far end of the bed, next to his head. He heard the gentle sound of water rippling as she bent it out of whatever was containing it, and felt her fingertips touch the skin of his temple at the unscarred side. Water moved with her touch, flowing across his face, into his eyes.

The healing felt strange. He had experienced it once before, as he lay wounded after the fight with Azula, but he had been barely conscious at the time, he hadn't been paying attention. Or it had been different. Katara had healed the surface wounds, this healer was going after something deeper.

He felt water behind his eyes, probing, digging, moving around. It flowed in and out of his tear ducts, and seemed to seep into the tissue of his eyes themselves. These healers, they could do a lot of good with their power, but he realized now just how much harm they could do if they really wanted to. Healing is the power to manipulate the body, it is the one that wields the power that chooses whether to use it for good or for evil. He thanked the spirits that firebenders didn't possess such power, he could only imagine what it would have been used for in the hands of someone like Azula.

Time became meaningless as he lay there, it could have been for minutes or hours, as the water did its work. Katara hovered constantly by his side until eventually he felt the water withdraw from his body and drain away. Katara took his hand in her own and squeezed lightly. The fire still burned in the three torches.

Yugoda took a deep breath. When she spoke, she sounded tired. “The lightning caused a deep wound, and cauterized as it struck. I'm very sorry, there is nothing I can do for you.”

The world appeared to tremble around him. He heard Katara's gasp of dismay, as her grip on his hand tightened and then dropped away into the abyss. He tried to remember his meditation techniques to quell the rising panic, he tried to remember just to breathe. Darkness pressed down hard against his eyes, thick and stifling.

Fire. The fire in the room. He grabbed hold of it with him mind, trying to use it's presence to calm himself as the healer had suggested, but panic was in control, and the urge was either to run or to fight. He couldn't run, not without his sight. The flames grew larger, stronger. He felt them reach out for other flammable materials inside the room and grab hold. Everything was black and fire and smoke and heat.

He felt water again at his temples, seeping into the skin, and the energy left his body. His eyes slipped shut, and he lost consciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

Zuko woke slowly. The bed was uncomfortable, but after a week in a tent it was a luxury not to be laying on the ground. He felt calm and light headed, tranquil, almost. It felt nice, but it didn't feel right. He allowed his eyes to open and looked around. He saw nothing. Automatically, he reached for the calming techniques he had begun to use to quell the panic that invariably assaulted him as he woke, but paused. There was no panic. Something didn't feel right.

Frowning, he sat up and swung his legs around the side of the bed. It was cold in the room, but that wasn't surprising at the North Pole... _North Pole..._ Something, something important had happened. He massaged his head with his fingertips. _to do with the North Pole._

He reached out with his firebending, searching for another person. The room was empty. There had been people here before, when he... when he was being healed.

It all came back in a flood. The healing, the failure of the healing. Katara's hand squeezing his tightly, telling him it wold be okay when he knew it wouldn't. He remembered fire growing stronger and stronger, filling the room, and then he remembered more water, and then nothing.

He had been so afraid.

He reached for the fear, feeding it images of helplessness and darkness, but it didn't respond. He still felt calm. The same feeling as when he opened his eyes after a particularly fruitful meditation and took a deep breath. It wasn't right. He shouldn't feel this way, not now.

He pressed the soles of his feet against the ground and stood up. The room was a gaping chasm of nothing, he had no idea of its size, it's shape or what it contained. He held out a hand, palm upwards, and called a flame. It sprung to life immediately, making no difference to the light level of the room as far as he could tell, but spreading heat. He remained still for several minutes as the temperature of the room rose and the fire's heat touched the walls and furniture. There was very little furniture, as far as he could tell, just a bed and a rug on the floor. The walls were indistinct, presumably they were made of ice and resisting the heat he was throwing at them. But the door was made of wood, and it was only too eager to absorb the spare heat he spilled into the room. Zuko extinguished his flame and walked toward it.

It occurred to him that he didn't have his stick. That, too, was something that should bother him but didn't.

He pushed open the door and stepped through. The temperature dipped only slightly, meaning he hadn't stepped outside, but into a room that had been occupied less recently than the one where he had woken. Or some kind of corridor or joining room. Again, it was unoccupied. He picked a direction and began to walk.

As he did, someone appeared in front of him as they rounded a corner and stopped. Zuko paused his exploration and concentrated on the person. The person gasped in surprise. “Zuko!”

“Katara.” He tried to smile, but the calm was fading slightly, replaced by a feeling of vague uncertainty.

Katara moved towards him carefully. “Are you okay now?”

“Now?” He shook his head. He didn't feel right. He should feel something. “I don't know.”

“Okay, come here.” She took his hand and placed it on her arm. He griped hold and they turned and walked the few steps back to the room where he had woken. “I'm sorry,” she told him, “I was only gone for a few minutes, Yugoda said you'd be asleep for another hour. Do you... do you remember what happened?”

He nodded. “It didn't work.”

“You... I don't know what you did. Panicked, I suppose. You started bending the fire in the torches. Yugoda had to make you sleep.” They walked onto the rug at the side of the room and Katara sat.

Zuko followed her down. “Did I hurt anyone?”

Katara shook her head and touched his hand, “No, everyone's fine. Yugoda's student was a little shaken up. She had to calm her down too.”

“Calm...” Zuko frowned. “I'm too calm. What did she do to me?”

“I'm not sure. When she made you sleep, she did it by relaxing your mind completely. It wears off slowly.”

He nodded. She had somehow numbed his emotions, taken away the fear and the panic. But he knew they were still there, under the surface, bubbling away like a volcano waiting to erupt. And they were growing stronger. She had messed with his head. “I'm going to be angry about that later.” he warned her. “As well as... other things.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

The hand touching his pressed a little harder. Katara smelled of flowers. Where had she found flowers up here in the ice? Perfume, maybe? He had never known her wear it before. 

At the back of his mind, the barrier blocking his panic cracked a little. He had never had any desire to look at flowers before, but he would never be able to now. He would never see the sky, or the sun, or the beautiful orange glow of a fire in the dark.

His jaw clenched and he wanted to be calm again, but he couldn't bring it back. Just like his sight, it was gone forever. He turned away, taking a deep breath as he did. He knew his feelings were written in the tension of his muscles for anyone with eyes to see it, but she didn't need to see his face.

Katara's hand touched his shoulder and squeezed lightly. “You're going to be okay, Zuko. I promise. Think how well you've been doing using firebending to see. When we get back to warmer temperatures, you'll probably be able to sense everything around you. You'll be able to see better than any of us.”

“But I won't be able to _see._ ”

The hand on his shoulder dropped away and Katara's voice caught in her throat as her own eyes filled with tears. “No.” She whispered, “No, you won't. I'm so sorry.”

* * *

Zuko sat cross legged on the grass by the pond in the Spirit Oasis. He could feel the grass underneath him and smell the greenery. He could hear the gentle sound of the water as the breeze blew it against the edge of the pond. Although it was warmed by something other than the sun, he could use the elevated temperature to give him idea of where things were. The dip in temperature around the edge signaled to him where the borders of the Oasis gave way to the surrounding snow and ice. He could tell a lot about where he was, but he couldn't see it. He would never see it, or anything else again.

Never.

The thought didn't provoke the gut wrenching, all encompassing panic it did when he had heard his prognosis. Yugoda's calming waterbend had worn away, leaving not the terror it had found, but a sense of overwhelming sadness that seemed to permeate every cell of his body. He tried to ignore it.

_Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't think._

He had grown used to the darkness that had surrounded him since that terrible flash of agony inflicted by his half-crazed sister. He had learned to work inside it, but all the time spurred on by the promise that it would come to an end. Now that hope had been shattered, the knowledge that he could stumble around unaided and make his own tea was small comfort.

_Breathe in. Don't think. Breathe out._

He longed for a flash of light, of color, anything. Even if it only lasted a second, just something to break the blackness. He missed colors so much. Red. Blue. He exhaled slowly. A wave of grief washed over him as he did, his throat constricted and the breath caught, forced out as a sound somewhere between a sob and a moan of sorrow.

He would never see again.

_Don't think. Breathe. In. Out. Don't think._

It was too late. He gave up on the meditation, it wasn't working anyway, and opened his eyes. Darkness still. There would always only be darkness.

“Hey, Shuffles.”

He jumped at the unexpected voice and searched for Toph's body heat. He found her behind him, approaching fast. He quickly dragged his fingers across closed eyes, wiping away the evidence that she wouldn't see anyway.

“Katara told me,” she said. “Are you okay?”

He swallowed and waited until he trusted himself to speak. “I will be.”

Toph sat down next to him, so close they were almost touching. “It's strange. It feels like your lying, because you don't believe that. But you're right, you will. You must be pretty shaken up if you didn't sense me coming.”

Zuko shook his head. “I expected it. In the back of my mind the whole way here there was always the certainty that it wouldn't work. But I hoped it would, and losing that hope...” He stopped speaking as he felt his throat tighten again, not wanting her to hear it.

“Hurts.” She finished for him. Zuko nodded. Toph sighed. “I'm sure it won't always.”

He knew it wouldn't. Even the most painful wounds would heal eventually, unless they killed you, and Zuko had no intention of allowing that to happen. They might leave a scar, but the pain would fade. 

But it wasn't grief at what he had lost that would cause him problems. It was the practical reality of living without his sight. Not just for a week while they made the trip North, but for the rest of his life. “I don't know if I can do it,” he said in a whisper

“Be Firelord, you mean?”

“Be anything.”

Toph shrugged, he felt her shoulder move. “I get it. It's not easy changing your whole life. I imagine it's even harder when you don't have a choice in the matter. But remember what you said earlier. Whatever happened to it being possible to adapt to anything?”

“I was quoting my uncle. The eternal optimist.”

“Hm.” Toph nodded. “Good point. But from what I hear, his life took a few detours from the plan too. He's a smart guy, your uncle. You know what he'd do, if he was here?”

Zuko shrugged. “He'd tell me to stop moping and think of all the good things I have.” He thought for a moment, then tried to copy Iroh's voice as he spoke, “'Zuko, you must not dwell on on what you have lost, see this instead as an opportunity to learn. And drink this tea.'”

Toph ginned, “Not bad. But you missed something.”

“Oh?”

The earthbender pounced unexpectedly, almost knocking him sideways with the force of her attack, wrapped her arms around his body and squeezed as tightly as she could manage.

Zuko gasped as she knocked the air out of him. He recovered quickly and hugged her back until she released her grip and stood up. “So, you passed Blindness for Beginners. If you're interested, the advanced course starts tomorrow.”


	10. Chapter 10

Katara walked the ice-paved streets of the Northern Tribe's city slowly, with Aang at her side. On the surface, little had changed since her last visit. Ice structures that had seemed almost impossible to her when she had first come here, so different from the South Pole with its tents and Sokka's snow forts. Intricately sculpted, they shimmered as they reflected the blue of the cloudless sky, gleaming in the sunlight that held no warmth.

That kind of work was far beyond her ability as a waterbender. To learn the necessary skills would take years of study and practice. In some ways it was still amazing to her that the Northern Tribe could have so many uses for waterbending. They used it to fight, to build, the heal, to fish. A waterbender born here had any number of career options open to them. Unless that bender happened to be a woman, of course.

The restriction on what women could and couldn't do was stupid and offensive, and she was glad she had managed to get Pakku to change his mind, but at the same time she couldn't help wondering what would have happened if she had chosen to study healing as well as fighting.

As they entered the city's main square, a waterbending class was taking place. She slowed to watch. The children were young, no older than eight, and were pouring all of their concentration into basic moves. They streamed the water under the watchful eye of their teacher, a man younger than Pakku, but who looked no less stern. She felt a stab of jealousy as she watched them. Growing up the only waterbender in the South Pole had been difficult. These children were lucky, even if the expressions on their faces showed that they thought otherwise.

“Katara, look!” Aang grabbed her arm with one hand, pointing enthusiastically at the lesson with the other. “One of the students is a girl, they've started letting girls learn to fight.”

Katara looked closer at the group of students, and saw that he was right. In a group of boys, one girl, her face screwed up in concentration was streaming the water alongside them. Score one for equality. Even if it was just one student, it was a start. It showed attitudes were beginning to change, and she felt she could take some credit for that.

Of course, every girl that studied fighting techniques instead of healing, or used her bending to build houses or strengthen the city walls meant one less healer. True, some men may take up the job, but while women might happily do men's work, she didn't see men's attitudes changing enough that many of them would be willing to take on a traditionally female role.

“Katara, do you see her? She's really good.”

Katara nodded, “Yes.” She sighed.

Aang frowned. “I thought you'd be pleased about that.”

“I am. I was just thinking.”

“What about?” Aang turned back to the lesson.

She bit her bottom lip and hesitated before she replied. “After Yugoda tried to heal Zuko, she told me that if she'd been able to treat him straight away, he might have been okay.”

“Oh.” Aang shrugged, “Well, it's a shame she wasn't there, but it wouldn't exactly have been possible, so I'm sure Zuko understands.”

“No, Aang. I was there. I treated him, and I wasn't good enough. If I'd known what I was doing, if I'd spent more time studying with Yugoda when I was here before, maybe I would have been able to help him. As it is, I treated the wounds on the surface and left the ones underneath, the worse ones, to set so that not even someone like Yugoda could help him. It's all my fault.”

Aang looked quickly around the square and found a bench nearby. Like everything else, it was made of sculpted ice. He took her hand and walked toward it. She followed numbly. As they sat down, Aang shook his head. “It's not your fault, Katara. You studied to be a warrior. You can heal too, and that's great, but you can't beat yourself up over not being a master of both skills. Your waterbending has saved all our lives over and over again. And if you hadn't learned to fight, you couldn't have taught me, then what would have happened?”

She listened to what he had to say, staring into the distance with half her attention on him and the other half in the past, watching the Agni Kai in her mind's eye. “I should never have been standing there while they were fighting. Zuko's blind because he saved my life, because I was standing in the wrong place and I didn't have the skills to save him.”

“You're not responsible for everyone and everything, Katara.” Aang told her, “You can't be, it's too much pressure. Believe me, I know.”

“I'm not trying to be responsible for everything, but I am responsible for this.” She sighed. “I have to tell him. He's going to hate me.”

Aang put an arm around her and she leaned toward him for the comfort of closeness, “He won't hate you,” he told her, “you saved his life.”

“Only because he put himself in danger saving me.”

“Well, I suppose that's one way to look at it, but...”

Katara raised an eyebrow.

“No, no that's not what I mean...” Aang floundered for a moment and raised his palms in a gesture of surrender, “It is one way to look at it, but it's the wrong way. And you still saved his life.”

Katara stood up, “I'll see you later, okay? I'm going to go and talk to Yugoda.”

She walked away quickly in the direction of the healing huts, and Aang sighed to himself as he watched her go.

* * *

The room where he was staying was simple. He didn't mind. A few years ago he might have complained that it was unsuitable accommodation for a Fire Nation prince. Since then, he had mellowed slightly. It was comfortable, and served its purpose fine. He had slept in much worse places than this. Besides, it hardly mattered what anything looked like any more.

The bed had been placed in the center of the room, providing a cushion of air between it and the ice walls. An animal skin over a woven sheet provided enough warmth during the night. The room was decorated, he thought. Things hung on the walls. An exploration with his fingertips had shown them to be some kind of woven wool, but neither that nor his firebending could tell him the design. It didn't matter what they looked like, he couldn't see them, and asking someone would only serve to highlight his inability. Not only to them, but to himself as well.

There was a table next to the bed, on which an oil lamp was placed. Rugs and skins covered most of the floor, presumably serving the same function as the things on the walls, to insulate against the cold.

On the floor in front of him, a plate of food was cooling rapidly. His stomach rumbled in protest as he ignored the tempting smell that drifted upwards. He hated eating in the dark. It was so messy, so undignified. That was why he had taken it in his room, but every attempt to eat ended in failure. The journey north had involved a lot of finger food, but he had to learn to do this now.

He slid his hand across the ground until his fingers touched the chopsticks that he had leaned against the edge of the plate. He picked them up and tried to remember Toph's advice. He slid the ends of them slowly across the plate until he found some food. Having located his target, he attempted to pick it up, but his aim was wrong, and it slid away across the plate. He tried again, and failed again.

He released his frustration as a sigh, but it came out as a growl, and decided to try another tactic. He allowed his free hand to hover palm down above the plate, letting the heat rise to touch his bare skin as he tried to identify the location of the different pieces of food. What they were didn't matter, just where.

The other hand tried to interpret the information and pick up something from the plate. He aimed, and he missed. He tried again, and felt himself make contact with something. He lifted it victoriously to his lips, only to find that it had dropped before it arrived, probably before it had left the plate. He sighed, again, replaced the chopsticks on the side of the plate and waited for the food to cool enough for him to eat with his fingers. Even less dignified, he supposed, but at least he wouldn't starve to death that way.

Behind him, someone knocked once on the door lightly, then pushed it open. His visitor stood quietly for a moment, perhaps observing him, or possibly trying to think of something to say.

The person was short, either a child, a very small man or woman, or someone crouching down on the ground. If it was someone he knew, and he assumed it was, it was probably Aang or Toph. Of the two, Aang was the most likely because Toph had left not long ago, and she was nervous moving around the ice alone and would probably have someone with her.

Zuko was facing away from the door, sitting on one of the rugs on the floor. He waited, tensing just slightly, to be ready to fight if it turned out to be someone unexpected who meant him harm.

“One of the monks at the temple was blind.” Aang told him.

Zuko didn't move. He remained perfectly still, eyes closed. He allowed himself a moment of celebration at his correct guess.

“He was called Tashi,” Aang continued. “I think he could see for most of his life, because he'd talk about how things looked all the time. He asked us to describe things. Toph doesn't do that, because the words we'd use wouldn't mean anything to her. He knew about colors and things like that, so he must have been able to see once.”

Aang took a few steps closer, making no sound as he did, but his body heat moved from the door to part way into the room.

“He was one of the happiest people I ever knew. He found joy in everything. I think he must have been a bit like you and Toph. You know, using bending to see? Maybe he felt the way the air moved around things, because he loved to just sit outside in the wind for hours at a time. Or maybe he just liked the way it felt, I don't know. I never asked him. I did ask him once why he was so happy though. Do you know what he said?”

Zuko shook his head.

“He told me it was because he was alive.”

Aang jumped into the air and floated down onto the top of the bed. Zuko heard him land lightly. He concentrated on his body heat and the distance he knew he was from the bed. Working out the direction of something was relatively easy, but calculating exact distances was tricky, it needed work.

“I wanted to ask him how he lost his sight,” Aang continued, “but I was a little kid and didn't know if I should, so I didn't. But from what he said then, I guessed something happened and he nearly died. Compared to that, being blind didn't seem so bad.”

Zuko turned toward him and raised a hand to his scar. “When my father did this, the wound became infected. I didn't realize at the time how close I came to losing the eye, even losing or damaging both of them if the infection spread. Later, when I learned the truth, I spent many nights contemplating darkness. To lose my sight seemed like the most terrible thing that could happen to me.”

Aang sat silently, waiting for him to continue.

“When I dove in front of Azula's lightning bolt, I hoped I could re-direct it back on her, or at least away from Katara and myself, but to be truthful, I didn't think it would work. I expected to die.” He allowed his hand to drop back into his lap. His eyes remained closed as he spoke. “I hate not being able to see,” he said, his voice contained frustration and anger mixed with sorrow. “I'd do almost anything to get my vision back. But maybe your monk was right. If I'd been given a choice; told that to save Katara's life I would have to lose my own life or my sight, I would have chosen this. As much as I hate it, I would rather this than death.

“Will you promise me something?” Aang asked him.

“Of course.”

“Tell Katara that.”

Zuko frowned, but nodded once in agreement.

Aang used a gust of air to move himself onto the floor next to Zuko. Zuko calculated his distance again and wished he could check visually to find out whether he was correct. 

“I want to go home.” Zuko said, “I need to feel warm, to feel the sunlight on my skin even if...” he took a deep breath, “even if I can't see it.”

"We're leaving tomorrow. Katara and Sokka have a few things they want to do first. But when you get there, what then?”

It was a question he had given a lot of thought over the past day, and there was only one answer he could give. “My duty.”

The trouble was, he hadn't quite worked out what that was. Did he owe it to his country to lead, or to step aside and allow someone else to shoulder the responsibility?

The response seemed to satisfy Aang, who walked out of the room with a spring audible in his step. Zuko concentrated on the room around him. If he was to lead – and if he wasn't, he had no idea what he would do – he needed to master this technique.

The food cooled, forgotten on the ground.

* * *

Toph smiled in relief as she stepped onto the grass of the Spirit Oasis and felt the earth beneath her feet. She dropped her shoes onto the ground and pressed her toes into the soil. She could feel the familiar body rhythm of Sokka sitting by the small pond in almost the same place as she had found Zuko the day before.

Something felt off about him, he wasn't his usual irritatingly happy self. “What's up with you?” she asked as she approached him.

Sokka turned toward her. “Hey Toph. Nothing's up. What are you doing here?”

She pointed at the ground beneath her feet, “Earth,” she said, “and it's warm here. It is so good to be able to see again.”

“Don't say that to Zuko,” Sokka warned her.

“Do you think I'm an idiot?” She dropped to the ground and placed the palms of both her hands on the soil too.

Sokka shook his head. “A bit tactless sometimes, but I've been accused of that myself a few times.”

“What are you doing here? You're not usually the sitting quietly by yourself type.”

He sighed and seemed to slump somehow. “I thought the Moon Spirit might be able to heal Zuko like it did for Yue, but the Elders said no. It's too risky because the spirit is still too weak. Yue's energy is all it's got.”

Toph nodded. “What about later, when it's recovered a bit?”

He shrugged, “I don't know, I doubt it. Chief Arnook's kind of protective. I get it, I don't want to hurt Yue either, but I figured maybe if I came here I could ask her myself. You know, in case they're wrong and she did feel up to it.”

“And?”

“I don't know what I was thinking. That she'd appear and talk to me or something, I suppose. But it's not really her, is it? It's just a fish.”

Toph lay down and placed her hands behind her head, putting as much of her body in contact with the ground as she could. She was already trying to stop one person sinking into depression, she didn't think she could handle two. “Maybe if you ask the fish, she'll appear.”

“I tried that already. She just keeps swimming around.”

“Maybe that's her answer,” Toph suggested.

Sokka nodded. “Maybe it is.” he said, “But I really wanted to see her.”

“You can, she's here. Just not as a human.” She paused. “But it's a very pretty fish.”

“She was an even prettier girl,” Sokka said, then crossed his arms as his brain caught up. “Oh, hilarious. Please tell me you won't encourage Zuko to start doing that too.”

Toph's lips twitched into a smile and she closed her eyes and relaxed completely for the first time since she had put on her shoes all those nights ago. “Can't guarantee he won't pick up the habit anyway. You're too easy.” She felt Sokka away and face the pond again, his body rhythm felt sad as he watched the fish swim through the water. “Sorry,” she said. Not for the joke – well, kind of for the joke. She knew Yue was off limits.

He shrugged. “I guess it is a pretty fish,” he told her.


	11. Chapter 11

Zuko led Toph across the ice once again as the group left the Northern Tribe's city. He walked at a faster pace than he was comfortable with on ice that he couldn't see, matching Katara and Sokka's pace, following them through the streets to the square where Aang would meet them with Appa.

Around him, he could feel the slight body heat of several people behind their thick, well insulated clothing. He kept his breathing slow and steady and remained several paces behind Katara to avoid hitting her feet as he slid the end of his stick over the ice. Behind him, he could feel slight resistance from Toph as she walked uncertainly over the slippery surface that she couldn't feel.

As they turned a corner into the square, he could feel Appa's large presence immediately. Having located his target, he no longer needed to follow Katara and Sokka, so he slowed slightly. The waterbenders who built and maintained the city had somehow managed to make the ice less slippery than he would have expected, but it was still ice, and he couldn't see. It didn't sound like a good combination. As he slowed, he felt the resistance from Toph lessen. Clearly, she agreed.

As he climbed into the giant saddle, pressed his back against the side and turned his face away from the crowd of people that had gathered to see them off, he felt some of the tension drain from his body. He was on familiar ground, he supposed; he knew where he was here.

Sokka had climbed aboard ahead of him, but Katara remained on the ground. He could just about make out her voice from below them, talking to someone in serious tones, but the words themselves were lost before they reached him. If he really concentrated, he could also make out Aang sitting outside of the saddle on Appa's back, but there was very little temperature difference between them. 

He tried not to think too hard about what would happen now. He wanted to go home, but he wanted to arrive with the cure he had come for. Out here, he could almost convince himself that this wasn't real. At home, he would have to begin to accept reality.

“Better start now,” he muttered to himself.

“Start what?” Sokka asked, sounding interested.

Zuko shook his head and closed his eyes,

“Isn't talking to yourself the first sign of madness?” Sokka asked. Zuko could hear the grin on his face. “That's what my grandmother says, anyway.”

Toph's voice sounded like a smile as well. “Careful, Sokka. Crazy runs in his family.”

Zuko turned away and tried to ignore them. He wasn't in the mood to joke, and definitely not about that. The psychopathic streak that ran through his family tree had cost him dearly. Sokka and Toph either got the hint or lost interest, and silence descended.

When Katara finally climbed into the saddle, she did so without a word, and placed herself diagonally opposite Zuko, as far away from him as she could be without sitting outside the saddle. Zuko noted this with interest. She had gone from being constantly at his side to apparently avoiding him. He thought back to Aang's request and wondered what exactly she had said to him.

A subdued mood seemed to permeate the whole group as they took to the sky. Sokka watched Katara closely, noting the worried frown on her face before she turned around to watch the city shrink, and finally disappear as they flew quickly toward the south. The mood even seemed to spread to Appa and Momo. The lemur stuck tensely to Aang's shoulder while Appa made a mournful sound as he flew through the air.

It was a sense of incompletion, Sokka decided. They had come here with a purpose and were leaving with that purpose unfulfilled. He hadn't even entertained the possibility that the healers might not be able to help Zuko, to learn that there was nothing they could do left the whole mission feeling...pointless, somehow. And he knew that if he felt that way, Zuko must feel so much worse.

He glanced at the firebender sitting opposite him in the saddle. His eyes were closed as though he was asleep, but he sat with his back straight and an expression of intense concentration on his face. No emotion was apparent in his expression, but they had to be there underneath. The inside of Zuko's head was not a place Sokka would want to be at the moment. Or ever, now he thought of it, but in the short time they had been friends, he had come to learn that when the usually volatile prince appeared calm, that was even worse than when he didn't.

Toph intertwined her fingers and rested the back of her head in her palms, she stretched her legs out in front of her and sighed. “Well, that was an experience I never want to repeat.

The silence that followed her statement told her that that was an opinion shared by every one of her friends. She edged over toward Zuko, so that her arm touched his. He didn't move or respond in any way, including moving away or asking her to stop, so she stayed there feeling his body heat through the sleeve of her borrowed jacket. Seeing like he did.

* * *

The Earth Kingdom village of Nong Di was made up of a small market, a collection of shops, a handful of houses and a lot of farmland. As she walked through the town square, Toph could see all of this. The houses most likely blocked the view of most of it from her friends, but beyond the stone buildings lay acres of farmland, all in use growing far more produce than the residents could ever use for themselves. So presumably what they didn't sell to one another in the market, they traded with towns and villages nearby.

It was a rich village, probably. Their abundant farmland indicated that they had escaped the war relatively unscathed. The only hint that that might not be entirely true was the ground she was walking on, which had been made by pouring rocks and stones onto the dirt rather than by earthbending a nice flat road. In five seconds, she could make this path much easier on the feet.

Beyond the boundary of the village, running through the surrounding fields, was a small river. Further upstream, there was a waterfall. Not a large one, but large enough that the vibrations caused by the water rippling against the land carried all the way to the village making her aware of it's presence. Next to the pool where the water landed, was a flat and clear area that would be an excellent place to camp for the night.

She walked at Sokka' side. The warrior was tense and alert as they strode past the market stalls with their enticing scents and the calling of sellers offering them everything from fruit and vegetables to silk clothing and Fire Nation spices.

“Something's wrong with this place,” Sokka muttered quietly.

Toph frowned. “Seems like a nice town to me.”

He nodded, “It is, but the people seem wary. They're looking around as though they expect trouble.”

“From us?” Toph grinned. “We only ended a war and overthrew an insane Firelord, we're about as harmless as they come.”

“I don't think it's us they're worried about.”

“Well then we won't worry about them either. We'll be gone in a few minutes. Let's just get what we came for and make camp. There's a nice spot just outside of town.”

“Yeah,” Sokka agreed. “Oooh, maybe we can get a couple of other things too. Those cured meats look delicious!”

Toph sighed and followed him to the stall that she had to agree did smell wonderful, but something was bothering her. Now that he mentioned it, something did feel off about this place.

* * *

The Earth Kingdom village of Nong Di was bright and airy, with wide streets and simple, one story houses made of white stone that seemed to almost shine as they reflected the sunlight away.

A single, thin and wispy cloud hung in the west of the otherwise brilliant blue sky and there was a pleasant breeze from the east, bringing with it the earthy sent of a recently plowed field. The occasional flock of birds drifted through the sky overhead.

The road was a dirt track covered by a scattering of larger stones brought down from the rocky land beyond the surrounding fields. Katara looked back in concern at Zuko, who was following closely behind her and Aang, but he seemed to be managing remarkably well over the uneven path. At her side, Aang looked in interest at everything around them.

A way ahead, Sokka and Toph had broken from the group and were standing near some kind of food stall. Her brother dug eagerly into his money pouch and handed a coin to the greasy looking man on the other side, taking two small plates in exchange, one of which he handed to Toph. Katara frowned, but she wasn't hungry, whatever he had bought was unlikely to be vegetarian, so Aang wouldn't want it, and Zuko had barely eaten anything since they left the North Pole. Even before then, now she thought about it.

His behavior was beginning to cause her concern. She understood that the news he had received there had been difficult, but he appeared to have almost completely withdrawn from the world. He spent his days and nights sitting alone. Either on Appa as they traveled, or at the other side of the camp site when they rested, legs crossed, eyes closed. Doing what, she didn't know. Meditating, perhaps, or praying. Or maybe simply trying to come to terms with what had happened. It had taken a lot of effort to get him to go with them to the village, and now she wondered whether it had been worth it.

* * *

The Earth Kingdom village of Nong Di was paved with rocks and stones, as though the area had no earthbenders to create a smooth street. Zuko felt a now familiar twinge of guilt at the thought. It was entirely possible that they did have no benders. The Fire Nation had for many years poured a great deal of effort and resources into making sure the other nations were unable to fight back. Taking away their benders took away their main form of defense against attacking troops and made it almost impossible for them to rebel.

Zuko followed Katara and Aang down the wide street. The sun was high in the sky and the air was finally warming. He was surrounded by patches of heat and cool. The floor, dusty and uneven beneath his feet, was warm, while the outside of the buildings on either side of the street felt cooler, blending in almost completely with the surrounding air.

It was a pleasant day. Not Fire Nation hot, but a long way from the biting cold of the north. He had listened with envy the previous night as Toph had finally removed her boots and sighed with relief at being able to see again. She hadn't said a word about it to him. In a way, he wished she had. It meant that even Toph was being careful around him. He hadn't expected that from her.

His own shoes muffled the heat radiating from the ground, but still showed it to be much warmer than the air. He paused. Of course. It was a darker color than the walls surrounding them. The dust and stones that he and his stick were knocking aside as he walked indicated a road made of the surrounding earth. Houses were either made of a lighter colored stone, or painted. Probably a lighter colored stone, this far north they would get few days hot enough to justify painting an entire village to resist the heat.

Fascinated, he reached out further, trying to learn more about his surroundings. He concentrated. There were warmer patches on the buildings, maybe wooden doors? Beyond that, nothing. Patches of warm, patches that were cooler, but what they were he had no idea. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to redirect all his tension and frustration into his hands and out the ends of his fingers. Any improvement in his ability to sense the world was due to the increasing temperate, not his own skills. He needed to practice more. He needed to sit alone and learn how to recognize what he was sensing. But that was what he had been doing night after night, and getting nowhere.

He shook his hands at the wrist, as though shaking off the negative energy, then searched for Aang and Katara. They were still walking ahead of him, not much further away than when he had last checked. He walked a little faster, hoping to catch up before he lost them among the crowd. He swung his stick as he walked, listening to it scrape along the ground. He no longer kept his feet on the floor as he walked, but Toph's nickname had managed to stick anyway. He knew he still moved slower than he had before, but that was something he would work on eventually too. If – when he could better tell what was around him.

Putting all of his concentration on the body heat of Aang and Katara, he didn't notice until the last second that there was someone behind him. Just as he did, a hand gripped his shoulder. He turned to face the attacker, balling his right hand into a fist.

He was male, definitely, and large. “Let go, if you know what's good for you.” Zuko told him, his voice dangerous.

The man released his grip. “Sorry, there. I didn't mean to frighten you.”

His fist tightened. “You didn't. What do you want?”

“Just to tell you to be careful. There's Fire Nation in the hills around here. Doesn't take a genius to notice you can't see. They pray on the weak, you know. I wouldn't walk around on your own if you can help it.”

“Fire Nation?” Zuko frowned. “The war's over.”

“Maybe for you and me, but not for them. They'll never be happy with peace. A few nights back they came to the village trying to steal food. We chased them off, but just be careful. If you've got friends, stick with them.”

Zuko shook his head. “I can take care of myself,” he told the man, and turned quickly away. He felt his body trembling slightly as he began to walk in the direction where Aang and Katara had been last, not enough for anyone to notice – he didn't think – but enough to make him realize how much the incident had shaken him. The shock of being grabbed unexpectedly and the subsequent conversation had broken his concentration and he had lost them among the thin crowd. He could sense the ground, and the buildings on either side of the wide road, but little else. When he had moved a reasonable distance from the man, he stopped. Fire Nation in the hills. Raiding the villages. But why?

There were no clues as to which of the people in the square were his friends, he had no idea which direction to walk. Frustration at his disorientation mingled with anger at being picked out of the crowd as someone who needed help. _“They prey on the weak,”_ the man told him. He refused to be weak. He refused to be helpless. But he knew that at the moment, that was exactly what he was. He crossed the road to the edge, sweeping his stick from side to side ahead of him on the uneven ground, then leaned against the wall of one of the buildings and waited. Sooner or later, someone would notice he was missing and find him.

It didn't take long. He heard footsteps running along the gravel road, crunching on the stones. Someone approached him quickly. “Zuko, what happened?” asked Katara's voice.

He got to his feet and brushed the dust from his clothes. “We might have a problem,” he told her.


	12. Chapter 12

Toph held out her hands towards the small fire and rubbed them together for warmth. Through the soles of her feet, she felt the presence of her friends, most of them sitting around the camp fire with her, one sitting alone at the other side of the tents. She stick out her bottom lip and blew a puff of air at the hair that was hanging down over her face. “Is anyone else getting sick of Zuko sulking?” she asked.

Katara crossed her arms as she replied. “I don't think he's sulking, Toph. He's trying to come to terms with what's happened. It can't be easy for him.”

“Yeah, it's a real nightmare.” Toph's voice dripped with sarcasm, “I don't know how I manage to get out of bed every morning.”

“Well, it's not really the same for you, is it?”

Sokka waved a hand through the air between the two of them. “Come on, guys. Who cares if he wants to sit by himself, he used to do that all the time anyway. He's meditating or something.”

“All night every night?” Asked Toph.

Sokka shrugged. “Maybe..?”

“That's it,” the earthbender got to her feet, “he's been by himself over there since he lit the fire, that's long enough. I'm going to make him sit with us if I have to drag him.”

As she started to stomp around the edge of the camp fire, Katara grabbed her arm. “No, I'll do it. There's something I need to talk to him about.”

Sokka's stomach growled loudly. “Whoever does it, don't take too long. We're not saving dinner for you.”

Toph shrugged and sat back down, a change in Katara's heartbeat indicated that she was nervous . She decided not to mention it. The problem with knowing things about people before they said something was that it often made them uncomfortable. That was why she had waited so long to reveal her ability to detect lies. As long as the job got done, it didn't really matter how Katara felt. Instead she turned her attention to Sokka. “So, Fire Nation in the hills. What's with that?”

“Dunno,” Sokka filled his mouth with handful of bread and talked around it. “Probably soldiers on their way back home. If we're lucky, we won't run into them.”

Aang smiled, “I don't think we need to worry, not when we've got the next Firelord traveling with us.”

“Yeah,” said Toph. “If they've gotten the news about the change of leadership, and if they're happy with it. Zuko seemed to think there might be people who still support his father.”

Sokka swallowed his mouthful and grinned. “Aang took down Ozai Avatar state style. I'm sure between the five of us we can handle a few angry soldiers. Right?”

“Definitely!” Toph agreed.

Aang sat thoughtfully and nodded. “I'm sure we could,” he said. But hopefully we won't have to. Like you said, they're probably just on their way home, they're probably as glad the war's over as we are.”

* * *

When it was warm, the forest was a cacophony of different temperatures, sounds and smells. The pine trees filled the air with their distinctive scent, while the occasional bird or animal tweeted or chattered or scurried along a branch. If he concentrated in the right place at the right time, he could even sense their tiny presences in between the branches, a little bit of warmth in the cold night. 

As they moved further south, the differences in temperatures between different objects became more pronounced. Some eagerly absorbed any bit of heat, while others repelled it. The warmth lingered further into the night now, which gave him more time to practice, but as the world cooled each night, his ability to sense the world around him fell away a piece at a time until all that remained was the body heat of his friends, and anything that had been warmed by the fire.

As he sat on the ground at the other side of the camp to avoid distractions, he concentrated on his companions. He had noticed slight differences between people already. Body shape, for example. The larger someone was, the larger an area of heat they radiated. If he concentrated hard, he could tell whether someone was tall or short, if they were fat or thin, but it needed work. He had to be able to pick people out of a crowd. So he concentrated on each of them in turn, searching for something that would set them apart, not only from each other, but from the world in general. It wasn't an easy task.

Aang's head was colder than the others'. It had to be his lack of hair, unless it was some unknown aspect of airbender physiology. He assumed it was the hair. Most people had a core of warmth in the center of their bodies, cooling on the extremities. The face was a little cooler, but above it the top of the head held warmth. Not Aang. He allowed himself a victory smile. This would be useful in identifying other people as well. Or confusing, making him mix people up, he supposed.

He moved on to the next person around the fire. Katara. As he began to search for distinguishing features, she stood up and began to walk toward him.

* * *

Katara approached Zuko slowly. As she rounded the two tents that served as a barrier between himself and the rest of the group, she found him sitting on the ground as expected. He sat in the half lotus position, legs crossed, one on the top, one underneath. His hands rested lightly on his knees, palms downward, and his eyes were closed. She slowed further as she approached.

“Hello, Katara.”

She stopped a few feet away, “How did you know it was me?”

He shrugged, his eyes remained closed. “I can sense you all around the fire from here. Since we landed, I've been keeping track of everyone's movements so that I knew who was who.”

“Oh,” she said. “That sounds complicated.”

“It is. It takes all my concentration. I'm trying to work out ways of telling everyone apart, but it's more difficult than I thought it would be. It's not easy holding so many pieces of information in my head.”

“Maybe you should take a break,” she suggested.

He shook his head. His hair, hanging loose around his face, swung in response to the motion. “No.”

“Zuko, please. Everyone's worried about you.”

“You're worried,” he corrected. “Toph thinks I'm sulking.”

She shrugged her acceptance. “Aren't you?” She frowned, “Wait, you heard us from all the way over here? That's impressive.”

“I did hear Toph,” Zuko admitted, then he smirked, “but it was this morning when she said it to me. It turns out losing a sense doesn't really make the other ones stronger, it just forces you to pay more attention to them.” He shrugged, “It's a shame, really. Super hearing might come in useful.”

“You got super firebending instead,” she reminded him.

He half smiled, but the expression appeared sad, somehow. “I suppose so.”

Katara frowned, sensing something was wrong. Sat down on the soft grass in front of him and waited. When no explanation came, she reached out a hand and touched him lightly on the arm. “What is it?”

Zuko hesitated, trying to decide what to say, or whether to say anything at all. “It's not getting any better,” he admitted. His voice sounded worried. “The firebending. Not for a few days now. I think this might be as good as I'll ever be, and it's not good enough. No matter how hard I try, I can never get more than the vaguest idea of what's going on around me.”

She absorbed his words for a moment, thinking over the possible implications that she knew would be drifting through his head, trying to come up with a response. “A few days,” she repeated. “Okay, that's since we left the North Pole. You had a huge shock there, and you've been pushing yourself hard ever since. Maybe that's why you need to take a break and try to relax. Exhaustion makes it difficult to do anything, especially learning.”

“I know,” he told her. “But it's hard to relax when there's something I need to do. This is all I have now, I have to perfect it.” 

He kept his voice level as he spoke, purging almost all emotion from his voice, but there was an undercurrent of desperation in his words that he couldn't hide.

“I'm so sorry, Zuko,” she told him. “This is all my fault.”

Zuko frowned, “It's not your fault, Katara.”

“Yes it is. You don't understand. After she tried to help you, Yugoda told me it would have worked if you'd been healed properly straight away. No spirit water, nothing special, just a healer who knew what they were doing. Instead, you got me.”

Zuko's breath caught in his throat and for a moment, he froze completely still. As he processed this new information, Katara wrapped her arms around herself and watched. “I could have been healed?” he said.

“You must hate me.”

“No.” He opened his eyes. She knew it made no difference to his ability to see her, but she got the distinct impression that his attention was focused purely on her now, tuning out the surrounding environment that he had been trying so hard to keep in his mind.

Curiosity drove her to look at his eyes. Their unfocussed gaze reminded her of Toph. He knew were she was, and turned his head in the right direction – a courtesy the earthbender has never learned – but there was no eye contact. No matter how skilled he became, that would always be beyond him. His eyes looked the same; clear, golden brown, seeming to almost burn with intensity even when looking at nothing.

“It's not your fault,” he repeated.

“How can you say that?”

“Because it's true. I'm not trying to assign blame, but if I did, it would fall on myself. And Azula, of course.”

Katara reached for his hand, then pulled back before she made contact. “But I could have saved you.”

“You did save me. You couldn't have saved my sight, because you didn't know how. But you beat Azula, and then you healed me. You did more than enough.”

Katara's own vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears. She blinked and wiped them quickly away. Zuko's eyes shifted slightly from left to right as though searching for her. She watched them, unable to come up with a reply.

He took her silence for a denial. “You did, Katara. There is no reason to feel guilty. It's okay.” The words sounded hollow even to his own ears. He sighed and tried to clarify. “Don't misunderstand. I do wish it had ended differently, but it could have been much worse. I miss seeing. And my head hurts all the time from trying to interpret what my firebending is telling me, but I'm alive. You're alive. It was worth it.”

Katara released the breath she had been holding very slowly. “Aang said you'd say that,” she told him.

“Aang's a smart guy.”

She nodded. He was. And manipulative too, in his own way, when he put his mind to it. She wondered what exactly Aang had said to Zuko, because the tiny smile as he said those last words gave her the distinct impression she had missed something. She just hoped it didn't mean Zuko was trying to spare her feelings. His words felt sincere, but she didn't know. “Come and eat something,” she told him. “Please?”

“I...” He shook his head. “I'm not hungry.”

She folded her arms. That was defiantly a lie. If that was how he lied, everything else he said had to have been the truth. He couldn't see the gesture, and she didn't know whether he could sense it, so she allowed silence to speak for her as she sat waiting.

Eventually, Zuko surrendered with a shrug of his shoulders. “Eating is messy,” he admitted.

Suddenly, everything made a lot more sense. She could water-whip herself for not realizing sooner. She had thought Zuko's mood had put him off his food, when in fact he was probably starving and forcing himself to rely only on food he could pick up with his fingers. “Have you asked Toph for help?” she asked him.

He nodded. “Yes, and she did help. Now I can get about half of a meal into my mouth.” He smiled, and she saw genuine relief in the expression. It was a victory, she supposed, or at least half of one. “I was trying to teach myself to sense the heat in the food, but it's easier not to at the moment.”

“Because your seeing through firebending isn't getting any stronger?”

“It's not seeing. That's what Toph calls what she does because she doesn't know what seeing really is.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “But yes. It's not the strength that's the problem, it's the details I can't sense. Small things. But the small things are the most important.”

Katara listened silently.

“If I'm to be Firelord, I need to be better than this. But to be better I need to be able to do so much more with firebending than I ever imagined possible. For a while, I convinced myself I could do it, but now I don't know.

She bit her bottom lip, wanting to know the answer to her question but unsure how to phrase it. “I think you can do it,” she told him, “but if you can't, what will you do?”

He thought carefully about his answer. “Then one day I'd have to accept that. But I never give up without a fight.”

She nodded, satisfied. “The warriors of my tribe never go into a fight unprepared,” she told him. “Part of preparation is making sure you are well fed.”

Zuko smiled. This time the expression almost reached his eyes. “I suppose that must be true, if Sokka's any indication.”

“Come on, sit with us. I might not be a master healer, but I'm the best we have, and I prescribe a night off and a meal. No one cares if you make a mess. I mean, talking of Sokka, you've seen him eat.”

He nodded, “A short break might not be a bad idea.”

“A whole night off,” Katara insisted. “And if you still trust me, I think I might be able to do something about your headache.”


	13. Chapter 13

“How much can you see right now?” Toph asked.

Zuko frowned. “I wish you'd stop calling it seeing. It's nothing like seeing.”

“Fine, sorry. How much can you sense using firebending to tell the differences between temperatures around you.” She paused, “Yeah, you're right. That's definitely better than saying see.”

“I think it is,” Zuko told her. He paused and concentrated on his surroundings. “I can sense the sun, it's pretty low on the horizon, but it hasn't set yet. It's not strong enough to warm anything any more, so it's all starting to cool down. I can sense the trees around us. You, obviously. There's an animal in the tree above us. Probably a squirrel-owl or something.”

“Really? That's great.”

He frowned again. “What? You like squirrel-owls?”

“Not particularly. It's great that you can tell it's there. I can't. And I bet you couldn't either if you were looking up there with your eyes.”

Zuko bit back the sarcastic comment about how much better off he obviously was now and folded his arms. “Are we out here for any particular reason?”

“Yep. I thought we'd do a bit of running.”

“Um.” His hands tightened on the top of the branch that Toph had given him at the beginning of their trip. It was beginning to wear out now, the end that touched the ground was breaking away in splinters, shortening it a little bit each day. He kept it because it had been a present, and it still worked. But it wouldn't be long now before he would have to discard it and find a new one.

“Um?”

“Do you think that's a good idea, Toph?”

She smiled, “I think it's a great idea. Running's fun, and it uses the same skills you'll need in a fight, dodging, avoiding obstacles. I know if you're up against another firebender, you'll be able to sense the fire, but that's no good if you don't notice you're dodging straight into a rock. And what about if you're fighting an earthbender? Everything happens faster in a fight, you don't have time to stop and think. So, running.”

She was right, of course. She usually was. But that didn't make the idea any more appealing. “Do we have to do it in the middle of the woods?” he asked.

“It's not a very thick wood. Somewhere flat and empty might have been better for a first time, you're right,” she told him, “but there's nowhere like that around here. If we do it here, you'll at least be looking out – sorry, sensing out – for something in the way. Somewhere else, you might let your guard down and fall flat on your face.” She paused. “Not that that wouldn't be funny, you understand, but I'm trying to help you and I don't think that would be very helpful.”

Zuko took a deep breath. “Okay. How do I do this?”

“Good question.” She told him. “I can't really tell you that. You see – sense – in a different way to me. Remember you're going to be passing everything much quicker than usual, so there won't be any time for getting lots of details, a vague idea is enough. Your sitting around meditating and focusing on the little things is fine sometimes, but other times you don't need it.”

He nodded, and suddenly understood the other point to this exercise. “Have you been talking to Katara?”

“Not if I can help it. She's been worse than normal recently. Now, you'll probably have to keep your focus pretty low.” She continued, sounding thoughtful. As though she were thinking up instructions as she spoke, which he assumed she was. She was trying to imagine the world as it appeared to him. “If you trip, it'll be over something on the ground. Anything you might run into will start on the ground and grow upward from there. I think the earth is the key to this. But maybe that's just how I see the world. If you can come up with something that works better for you, then great.”

He turned the stick slowly between his palms. Keeping his focus low would help him avoid most obstacles, but things on the ground weren't the only things that might block his way. “What about branches hanging over the path?”

Toph laughed, “Oh yeah, they can be annoying.”

“I think I need to be aware of just what's in front of me – all the way up, not just near my feet – but, not get distracted by the things behind or above or to the sides. And I suppose it doesn't even have to be that far in front of me. I need to have an idea of what's coming up later but most of my concentration needs to be directly ahead, just a few feet, so I can avoid things in the way.”

“Great. See, you don't even need me, you're doing fine on your own.” Toph grinned. “But don't get too used to forgetting what's behind you. What if you need to find your way back? Or if someone's chasing you?”

He shrugged, “One thing at a time. No one's chasing me today.”

Toph punched him in the arm, “Good idea. You'd better do well at this, because tomorrow someone is going to be chasing you. Maybe a few someones. I bet Sokka'd love to play this game.”

Zuko didn't answer. Being chased through the woods in the dark didn't sound like a game to him, even if the person doing the chasing was a friend.

“So, pick a direction.”

He hesitated. In front of him was a large tree. Behind him was a clearing, and then several more small trees but close enough together to count as one obstacle. To his right...

“It doesn't matter which way you go. Something's going to be in the way sooner or later. Come on.” She grabbed hold of his arm at the wrist and began walking. Zuko followed. Their speed increased slightly. In his free hand, he held his stick at a slight outward angle just in front of him. Toph increased her speed to a steady jog. Somewhat reluctantly, he followed her. “Ready?” She asked.

He absolutely was not. As fast as he was finding obstacles, he was passing them. He was going to hit something, there was no way to avoid it. He nodded. “Ready.”

Toph let go of his wrist and he was running alone. He could still sense her presence next to him, but not guiding him in any way. He tried not to follow her. He was running at her side and could hit something that she would avoid. His instinct, built up gradually over the past few weeks was to use someone else's movements to plot his own. He tried to ignore her and focus on the area ahead of him.

Something appeared in front of him, it's temperature and size suggested a large tree. He slowed his pace slightly as he dodged to the right to avoid it. Toph slowed too, keeping level with him. As he ran, his stick hit a slight raise in the ground, he stepped over it. The way felt clearer now. He moved faster, ducked underneath a branch, felt thin twigs scrape his sides as he ran past without noticing them. The only things that mattered were the things in his way, things he could see – could sense.

“Do you trust me?” Toph asked.

“That depends.” Zuko told her.

“The way ahead is pretty clear now. Do you want to race?”

He pushed his focus forward as far as he could manage. As he increased the distance, he lost some of the detail, but he could find a clear path through the woodland if they continued in a straight line. He felt himself smile before he realized he was going to agree. By way of an answer, he changed his jog to a sprint.

Although it felt like forever since he had last seen the sun, it had been less than two weeks since he had been injured, but already he could feel the difference his inability to train had made to his fitness. He felt the muscles in his legs burning, his chest heaving for breath as he poured all of his energy into moving as quickly as he could. Trusting his firebending and the wooden stick in his hand to warn him about anything in the way.

Adrenaline coursed through his blood and he poured all of his frustration into the physical exercise and felt it disappear. It was a temporary fix, as soon as he stopped he would have to deal with reality again, but for now it felt amazing just to be able to run.

As he found and avoided more obstacles, his confidence in his ability increased. Toph's shorter legs worked to her disadvantage, and he overtook her. As she fell further behind, he split his attention between the area just ahead of him and her body heat as it followed at an ever increasing distance. Eventually, when he was tired and she was too far behind for him to find her easily, he slowed and came to a stop. Toph continued to run until she caught up to him, then continued past, stopping a few steps ahead. “Ha,” she cried triumphantly, “I win!”

“I stopped,” Zuko reminded her.

She took a few steps toward him. “True,” she said, “but the race was to here. I win.”

Zuko was surprised to find himself still smiling as his heart pounded and his chest heaved for oxygen. He placed his hands on his knees and took a deep, satisfying breath. “Thank you, Toph. That was... fun.”

She stopped when she was standing next to him. “Seriously? You? You had fun?”

He shrugged. “It was also terrifying. But in comparison to the last few weeks – to the last few years, in fact – yes, I suppose I did.”

“Good.”

Zuko turned around, looking behind him at the way they had come. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he stopped. “Do you know where we are?” he asked.

Toph dropped to the ground. He sat down next to her. “I know exactly where we are. New challenge. You need to find the way back to camp. And if we get there after Sokka has eaten all our food, I'm going to be very unhappy.”

* * *

Sokka cooked with the same kind of gusto he usually reserved for eating. If he had been born elsewhere, or in different times, Zuko wondered if he would have chosen a career as a chef. Food was his passion. Food and fighting, and in both cases the more he got the better.

Heat permeated the water in the pan above the fire quickly. It started at the bottom as the metal warmed, then spread up the sides and towards the middle. As the increased temperature caused the hotter water to rise in the pan, it forced the cooler water downwards and areas of hot and cool swirled together as though dancing before the temperature eventually equalized. It was beautiful.

Beauty was something he had always associated with vision, like the sunrise he watched with his mother one morning as a child from the highest point on Ember Island, as the sky filled with reds and pinks before the sun itself began to rise slowly out of the ocean.

Sound, too, could be beautiful. He had never been able to draw the same enjoyment from music as his uncle, but certain instruments when played right, or the birdsong that accompanied the rising of the sun that morning, they could be described as beautiful. But hot water? It was something he had been around his whole life, but he had never noticed before now.

He felt a pang of regret that it was something he couldn't share with his friends. But perhaps when he got home, another firebender might be able to appreciate it. If not, maybe he could teach them. His uncle, certainly, would be fascinated. If it wasn't something he had discovered himself a long time ago and chosen not to share assuming Zuko would have no interest. Thinking about it, that might explain his fascination with bathing in hot springs.

Someone tapped his shoulder and he jumped in surprise. “Wakey wakey,” said Sokka.

Zuko blinked.

“I said, do you want some rice? Please don't tell me you're losing your hearing too.”

“Sorry, I was thinking.” His stomach rumbled at the thought of food and he sighed. “Yes please,” he said.

Sokka scooped a bowlful of rice from the pan of water. The rice retained the heat of the water that had cooked it, allowing him to reach across and take the bowl rather than waiting for it to be placed in his hands.

He held the bowl in one hand, feeling the shape of the heat soaking into his palm. Rice was easy, it stuck together and stayed warm for longer. With the other hand he moved his chopsticks down carefully until they made contact with the food, then lifting some toward his mouth. As he did, he felt a small area of heat rise from the bowl and knew he had been successful.

He heard a quiet burp from Sokka's direction and thought back to Katara's criticism of her brother's eating habits. “Hey, Sokka, you dropped some,” he said, with no idea whether it was true.

The shape of Sokka's body heat changed slightly and Zuko wondered whether it was a shrug. “I always drop some,” he replied, “but nowhere near as much as you. We're going to have to clear that up or it'll attract an armadillo-bear.”

Zuko blushed slightly and ate in silence for a few moments until Aang nudged him with his elbow. “Sokka was lying,” he said. “You haven't dropped anything.”

He lifted his head and did his best to glare at the Water Tribe boy, who shrugged – it was definitely a shrug – again, “Hey, sorry. But you tried to do a Toph, you're not that good yet. Revenge is sweet.”

At his other side, Toph laughed loudly. “Keep trying, you'll get him eventually. It's easy once you get the hang of it.”

Zuko shook his head and suppressed a smile, then dug into his food and ate almost as enthusiastically as Sokka.


	14. Chapter 14

Zuko woke in the early hours of the morning. From inside the tent, he could feel the very first rays of sunlight starting to climb above the horizon. He knew instinctively that looking outside – if he could still look – would reveal a nighttime sky with just a hint of deep blue where it touched the land or the sea.

Sunrise had always been his favorite time of day; feeling the energy of the sun filling him with its power as he watched the sky slowly lighten from black to blue, then as the sun made its first appearance, the glow of orange, yellow and red; seeing the patterns above his head as the first light hit the clouds from underneath and they reflected it down to the earth, like swirls of fire in the sky.

Now, sunrise brought with it a wave of regret along with the energy. He wondered whether, had he known what was coming, he would have paid more attention to the beauty in the world. To colors, to the faces of the people he cared about. He wondered whether he was luckier than Toph, having had the chance to see these things, or whether to have had them and lost them was the greater torture.

The sunrise was too recent to have disturbed him. He regularly woke as the sun climbed above the horizon, but never as early as this. He turned onto his back and placed his hands underneath his head, and lay quietly, trying to identify the cause of his wakefulness.

The sun was not yet high enough even to trigger the beginning of the chorus of birdsong that provided the soundtrack to the sunrise. There was no sound at all. At least not now. Something could have happened that was loud enough to wake him but passed quickly enough for him not to notice it. An animal passing through the camp, perhaps? He reached out with his firebending, searching for the body heat of an armadillo-bear or something else that he didn't want to meet in the woods, but there was nothing. He could feel each of his friends, all lying still, sleeping. Someone snored once, quietly, then silence returned.

With a mental shrug, he closed his eyes, turned over and tried to go back to sleep.

As he began to drift off, he sensed fire in the distance. A blast of fire, too sudden and intense to be created by anyone other than a firebender. It burst to life, then was quickly extinguished. Instantly alert, he sat up. “Sokka,” he said in an urgent whisper.

The Water Tribe boy muttered in his sleep and moved around in his sleeping bag before he settled down and snored loudly.

Zuko made an irritated noise as he reached across the ground until he located his tent-mate's arm and shook it violently. “Sokka!”

“Hmm? What's going on?” Sokka said, then turned over and started to snore again.

From outside the tent, he heard Toph yell, “Someone's coming!”

Immediately, Sokka sat up, wide awake. Zuko crawled to the tent door, his hands sweeping out in front of him blindly, not bothering to try to locate the way out using heat. He pulled apart the canvas flap and stuck his head out into the cool night air. “Firebenders,” he said.

“What?!” Yelled Sokka from inside the tent. He rushed toward the exit, barely giving Zuko time to get out of the way before he crashed through. “Where?”

“Quite a way away still,” Zuko told him. “The probably won't even come near us.”

Toph crouched down, placing a hand on the ground as she felt for their vibrations. “Guess again, Shuffles. They're heading straight for us. Pretty quickly too. Feels like six men, about half a mile that way.” She pointed, he assumed, in the direction where he had felt the fire. Unless there were two groups of people out there.

“Okay, everyone calm down!” Aang told them. “The war is over, the Fire Nation aren't the enemy anymore.”

“Weapons!” Sokka yelled, and dove back into the tent. He emerged almost immediately without further comment. He had borrowed a sword from the palace before they left the Fire Nation, this was the first opportunity he had had to use it. They were camping next to a small stream, and Katara rushed toward the water, ready to use it if necessary.

All around him was activity and unease. Zuko stood uncertainly in the middle of it all, feeling useless.

“Guys,” Aang tried again. “Calm down. They're Fire Nation. Zuko is one coronation away from being Firelord, they're not going to hurt us. Anyway, they probably don't even know we're here.”

“They know.” Zuko told him. He pointed a finger in the direction of the dying embers of the camp fire.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Fire speaks to us. There's still fire in there, even if only barely. If they are heading toward us, that's why.”

Sokka took a few steps toward what remained of the fire. “I don't get it,” he said. “What are you saying, firebenders are like moths that can't resist aiming themselves at any fire in the area?”

“No, genius,” Toph told him. “He's saying they know there's a camp here and they're coming to check it out.”

“Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense.”

The shape of Aang's body heat changed rapidly as he waved his arms in the air. “We're all on the same side now. Zuko, they won't hurt you, surely.”

Zuko shook his head and moved himself into a fighting stance. “Let's hope not,” he said grimly. He could feel them now. The men themselves, not just the fire they wielded. They were almost on top of them.

* * *

Zuko heard a burst of laughter as the men emerged from between the trees. Toph had been right, there were six of them. Six spots of heat added to the four he was already trying to keep track of. One man, the one that laughed, walked ahead of the others.

“How kind of you to make a camp for us,” he said with a sneer in his voice. “Okay, you kids be on your way, we'll take it from here.”

Zuko took a step forward, ready to identify himself when Katara laughed straight back the leader. “You've got to be kidding. Don't you know who you're talking to? This is the Avatar, and over there is Prince Zuko, soon to be Firelord Zuko. If anyone should be on their way, it's you.”

There was a long pause in which no one spoke or moved. Zuko knew some kind of non verbal communication was going on, something that he couldn't see. He remained completely still, ready to fight if necessary, but hoping that it wouldn't be. These were his own people, he didn't want to fight them.

“Nice try,” said the leader eventually. “The Firelord and the Avatar camping out in the middle of the Earth Kingdom? I don't think so.”

“It's a long story,” said Aang, “but really, I am...”

“We are taking this camp site in the name of the Fire Nation,” said the group's leader. “Leave your food and money. A group of kids should have more luck getting charity from the villages around here than Fire Nation soldiers. Leave now. We don't want to have to hurt you.”

“Oh, that's so kind of you,” Toph told them. Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “Isn't that nice, Zuko? They don't want to hurt us while they rob us and kick us out into the woods in the middle of the night.”

Zuko took a step forward, trying to demonstrate a confidence he didn't feel. He placed himself at the head of the group, with Aang just behind him to his left. “I am Prince Zuko,” he said, “son of Ursa and Firelord Oz... nephew of Iroh. You will turn around and leave this camp, you will travel peacefully back to the Fire Nation without bothering any more travelers. Leave. Now.” He felt fire scorching the insides of his palms, begging to be released.

“Um, captain?” said one of the other men. “Are you sure about this? That kid does kind of look like he could be Prince Zuko. He's about the right age, and there's that scar...”

“I don't think so. 'Son of, um... nephew of um...' The Fire prince would know his own lineage.”

Zuko cursed his slip. To say his father's name hadn't felt right, to say his uncle's had.

“Prince Zuko is a traitor.” The leader declared. “He betrayed the Fire Nation by joining forces with our enemy. The fact that he and the Avatar beat the Firelord and the Princess does not give him the right to sit on the throne. This kid should be thanking the spirits that he isn't Zuko.” He took a step forward. “Anyway, look at him. I don't think he can even see. Last I heard, Prince Zuko wasn't blind.”

“I guess news doesn't travel very fast out here,” Toph said. She tapped a foot on the ground and Zuko heard a grunt as the captain was knocked off his feet by the moving earth.

The man roared in anger and let loose a stream of fire in her direction. Suddenly, everyone was in motion around him and he found himself in the middle of a battle, with no idea who was the enemy.

* * *

A ball of fire was heading straight toward him. Instinctively, he dropped to the ground placing the palms of his hands on the grass. He ducked just in time, and felt the intense heat pass quickly over his head. In one fluid movement, he spun on his hands, kicking out with his feet as he did, firing own blast straight at the soldier. He heard him fall to the ground with a grunt as the impact of his back on the ground knocked the air from his lungs.

The patch of heat that indicated the soldier's location dropped lower as he fell, and stayed still on the ground. Either he had hit him harder than he intended, or the man had hit his head as he landed. Either way, he was unconscious. This was so much easier than the snowball fight that had impressed Sokka. He was working with his own element here, he could feel it coming even more clearly than he could sense the ones throwing it.

Not only that, but he had done this before. Exactly this. In the firebending lessons, blindfolded, dodging fireballs thrown at him by his sadistic teacher. Zuko felt the edges of his lips twitch into an ironic smile as he remembered complaining that he would never fight blindfolded in real life. The lessons, he had claimed, were pointless.

The soldier still lay on the ground. Zuko turned around to face the battle raging behind him. He froze. He could identify Katara easily, she stood her ground, with cool water flowing around her. The others, however, he had no idea. The blast of fire aimed at his head had easily identified the man he had beaten, but now everyone moved quickly, ducking, leaping, flying. He couldn't fight. He didn't know who was a friend and who was the enemy.

Frustration and anger coursed through his bloodstream as well as leftover adrenaline from the battle combined with the energy boost given to him by the still rising sun. He remained very still. The urge to firebend was almost overwhelming, but he resisted, concentrating instead on the activity around him. In the center of the chaos, he stood ready, in a fighting stance, eyes closed and breathing slowly.

Someone threw fire across the battlefield. He turned. Firebender. One hand clenched into a fist as he held the other palm outward, ready to strike. Then a thought occurred. Aang still favored the other three elements when he fought, but he could, and would, use fire when he needed to. He couldn't use firebending as an indication that someone was the enemy unless he was the target of their attack.

He tried again, calling on his memory of the observations he had made about his friends. In this environment, it was much more difficult than ever before, and it had never been an easy task. Toph and Aang were smaller, Aang's lack of hair made him stand out more. If he could identify them, and he already knew where Katara was, that only left Sokka, who was definitely not going to be firebending.

He found them. Toph was to his left, throwing boulders at her opponent, which were heated by the fire he threw in defense. She knocked him to the ground and Zuko heard further movements of the earth and imagined her trapping him under the rocks. Satisfied that she had won, she turned and ran in the direction of the action. Someone threw fire, definitely aimed at Toph. Zuko smiled. Got him. Aiming low, he knocked the man off his feet with a stream of fire. His opponent jumped back to his feet, attacking with a fire whip. Zuko leaped into the air and dove to the left, avoiding the fire and landing easily on his feet just in front of Toph. Aiming higher this time, he fired shot after shot until the man cried out surrender.

Satisfied that his honor wouldn't permit him to attack again after surrendering, Zuko turned away. He felt the man move behind him as he rose from the ground where he had fallen. Fire spread from the soldier's hands, forming into a ball of flame as it traveled forward heading straight for Toph.

There was no time to turn around. He threw his own ball of fire directly at the flames behind him, with a flick of his wrist, deflecting them harmlessly to the ground, then fired another fireball at the soldier. That done, he finally turned to face him and finished him off with a hard punch to the jaw. His hand burned with unused fire. The man dropped to the ground again. Unconscious, he hoped. But if he was dead, Zuko could live with that,

“Wow,” said Toph. “Don't you dare try to play all helpless ever again after that display.”

He turned his attention to the rest of the battle, still alert and ready to fight. He tried to locate the next soldier.

“Relax, we got them all.” Toph told him.

Zuko reached out with his firebending, scanning the surrounding area carefully, finding six – the soldiers, he hoped, all on the ground. Beaten. The four heat signatures still standing were familiar to him. 

He nodded. “Any still conscious?”

“The big guy you took down first is just waking up.”

“Good,” said Zuko. “Do you want to tell him they really did attack the Firelord, or shall I?”

* * *

The man in the ground groaned quietly and rubbed the back of his head with one hand. His eyes opened and he looked around in a confused, unfocussed way. Katara stood over him, glaring down angrily. “I did warn you,” she told him.

“He looks kind of concussed,” Sokka said.

Zuko nodded, “I thought he might have hit his head.” He took a step forward to the front of the group. “What is your name?” he demanded.

“L...Liu...” The soldier struggled to sit up and dropped back down to the ground.

“Okay, Liu.” Zuko offered him a hand, which the soldier accepted and used to pull himself into a sitting position on the ground. “Why are Fire Nation soldiers attacking camps in the middle of the night? The general order was to return home.”

“We are returning home,” Liu insisted. “Forgive me, Firelord Zuko, Avatar Aang. If we had known it was you, we would never have...”

“I think Katara told you who you were about to attack.” Sokka told him. “So did Aang and Zuko, now I think of it. And didn't you say something about Zuko being a traitor before you tried to kill us all?”

Zuko shook his head, “That's enough. I'll deal with this. Check on the others, make sure they're alive and not going to attack us again.”

“Forgive me,” Liu repeated. “I know the things I said were unforgivable, but I beg you Firelord Zuko. We have been trying to return home for days, we have no food, no camping equipment, and the people of the Earth Kingdom will not give us aid. We have had to steal to survive.”

Zuko listened to his response carefully. “I am not Firelord yet, Liu.” he told him. “I know what it's like to be desperate and hungry, but even in the worst times during my exile, I would never have attacked someone I believed to be helpless. Even if you had believed who we were, you saw weakness and you tried to exploit it. I am not weak.”

“Forgive me.”

“I have no place for bullies and cowards in the Fire Nation army.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of coins. He dropped it into the ground in front of the soldier. “Use this to buy food and shelter for yourself and your men as you travel home. Begin to convince the people of the Earth Kingdom that we are not all the monsters they believe us to be. And when you return to the Fire Nation, you will report to your superior officer and tell him what you have done. I'll let him deal with you, but I'll be waiting for his report.”

The man picked up the bag and stuffed it in his pocket while trying to bow despite the fact that he was sitting on the ground. “Thank you, Firelord Zuko. You won't regret your decision, I promise you.”

“If I hear any more tales of attacks by Fire Nation troops, _you_ will.” Zuko turned away from him without another word, leaving the man half laying on the ground.

“They're all fine,” Sokka said. “I vote we get out of here. I don't think I'll be able to sleep again knowing these guys are around. Who's with me?”

Zuko nodded. The sun had completely risen now, the day had begun. They could catch up on lost sleep the following night, when they had left the soldiers far behind. And not long after that, he would be home.


	15. Chapter 15

Zuko knew long before Aang – perched outside of the saddle somewhere on Appa's giant back – called to tell him, that they had entered Fire Nation territory. The temperature, even when flying so high above the ground in the thinner air and higher winds, had been steadily increasing for several days, and he detected the acrid scent of sulfur in the air.

They had spent at least the first day of the outward journey traveling through Fire Nation skies. Possibly even longer, he had been distracted by other concerns at the time and their exact location had been impossible for him to gauge without asking. He had had no desire to act like an impatient child constantly asking how much longer it would be, as much as he had wanted to. But he knew it had been around a day, which meant that entering his country didn't mean the journey was over, but he was home.

He took a deep breath and inhaled Fire Nation air.

Not far from here his uncle would be waiting for him, eager to hand over leadership and probably return to his tea shop in Ba Sing Se. Zuko looked forward to accepting the reigns to his destiny, but excitement mingled with apprehension. “How long?” he asked, thankful that his voice didn't betray him.

“A while yet,” Aang told him. “We might as well find somewhere to camp for the night now. It's a bit early, but we'll need to buy some food, and if we keep going, we'll arrive in the middle of the night. If we get an early start tomorrow, you'll be home in time for dinner.”

“Tomorrow,” Zuko mused as he felt Appa begin a slow descent.

Toph's elbow dug sharply into his side without any warning. “Nervous?” she asked.

He shook his head, more to convince himself than her. Up in the sky she wouldn't be able to sense the motion like she could on the ground. “No,” he said.

“Liar.”

Zuko frowned. “How can you tell when we're up here?”

He could hear the triumphant grin in her voice as she replied. “I couldn't. 'Til now.”

* * *

“Catch!” Sokka yelled down from Appa's saddle.

Concentrating on the area above his head, Zuko could make out Sokka's body heat, and he was holding something that had been warmed slightly by the sunlight. The Water Tribe boy let go of whatever he had been holding, and Zuko felt it falling quickly toward him. For half a second, he stood his ground, arms outstretched, ready to catch whatever was heading for him.

It fell quickly, but in the few seconds it was in motion, Zuko thought quickly. The object was large, which meant it as likely to be heavy. He had an idea of where it was going to land, but if he misjudged, it could easily injure him. Self preservation kicked in at the last moment and he jumped out of the way. Concentrating on the area above him, he lost focus on the area beneath his feet, tripped on the uneven ground and landed on the floor.

A fraction of a second later, he heard something else hit the ground with a thump.

He reached out with his hands to learn what had almost hit him. It wasn't quite as large as he had thought. The shape was irregular and it was made of some kind of rough fabric. Stitching made patterns on the outside, and as his fingertips explored further, they discovered a leather strap and a buckle. It was a bag. A very full bag, bulging at the seams

“Zuko, you know what catch means, don't you?” asked Sokka, leaning over the side of the saddle as he spoke. “I only ask because it looks like you dove into the dirt instead.”

“There was something large falling towards my head,” Zuko told him, standing up as he spoke and brushing sand from his clothes. “I couldn't see it, I didn't know what it was, or how heavy it was, or where it was going to land. Yes, I escaped, it's called survival instinct.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He heard Sokka moving around in the saddle. “Do you want to swap? You can drop things on my head if you want.”

Zuko smiled to himself, just a little. It was tempting, but he shook his head. “No, just give me a bit more warning and tell me what to expect. I want to see if I can catch anything.”

“What?” The body heat that indicated Sokka's location moved to lean over the side of the saddle again. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Zuko insisted.

“Okay. Um...” There was a shuffling sound as he chose something from the saddle and appeared back at the edge. Appa made a vaguely irritated sound and settled down on the ground.

The object that Sokka was holding over the edge was not very large, and it's temperature indicated that it had a color dark enough to absorb a lot of the sun's warmth. Given the way Sokka was holding it out over the edge of the saddle, it probably wasn't too heavy either. “What is it?” he asked.

“Katara's bag. Zuko, are you sure about this?”

Zuko concentrated on the bag, getting a clear idea of where it was in relation to himself. He had seen it before, knowing its shape and exact size was useful. He calculated the place where it was likely to land and took a step to the left as he raised his hands to chest level, ready to catch. “Tell me when you're about to drop it.”

Sokka didn't move, holding the bag still in the air for several seconds.

On the ground, Zuko shifted uneasily. “Sokka, you're making me nervous. You're not trying to aim at my head are you?”

“No. Are you _sure_ you're sure about this?”

Zuko suppressed the irritation and the urge to shout at the other boy and tried to maintain his calm. Losing his cool would make him more likely to miscalculate or even lose track of the bag completely as it fell. “You already did it once without thinking,” he reminded him.

“Yeah, but now I am thinking. And I'm thinking that if the others get back and find you unconscious, Katara's going to water-whip me to within an inch of my life.”

“Drop it.” 

“Okay. But any injuries are your own fault. Agreed?”

He nodded. “Agreed, Sokka. Just do it before I lose my nerve.”

“All right, here goes. On three...”

* * *

Zuko rubbed the sore spot on the side of his head with one hand as he used the other to spread a ground sheet flat on the sand.

Sokka winced. “Sorry again.”

“I caught three out of four. Not bad, considering.”

“I guess not.” Sokka sat down on the ground and looked up at the bright blue sky with the occasional white cloud drifting past on a breeze that barely existed on the ground. “I was thinking, maybe we don't need to bother with the tents. It'll be too hot in there, and there's no way it's going to rain. We'll be more comfortable outside. What's the point going to all that effort for nothing?”

Zuko shrugged and stopped spreading the ground sheet. “Fine by me,” he agreed. “I'm the only one who's used them for the past few nights anyway.”

The Water Tribe boy watched his former enemy sit down on the sand. “We're in the Fire Nation now,” he announced, as though Zuko didn't already know that.”

“Yes.”

“So, why are we camping out at all? Aren't you supposed to be the boss around here now? We could be staying in a town, people will probably be falling over themselves to get in with the new Firelord. And we'd get a decent meal and to sleep in a bed.”

Zuko shook his head, “The soldiers we met in the Earth Kingdom won't be unique among my people. People will have lost family in the war. They might be happy it's over and they won't lose more, but they might be angry that it was for nothing.”

“Okay,” said Sokka, “but we beat the soldiers easily. I doubt they'd give us any trouble, but if they did, I think we'd be able to take care of some villagers.”

Zuko almost laughed. He shook his head. “I don't want to rule through violence and fear like my father. So long at war has made people forget what peace is like. Once they begin to realize how much better life will be, they will accept what we've done. Until then...” he shrugged, “Sokka, I may be able to defend myself, but I'm still... I don't want to put myself in a dangerous position deliberately, and I don't want to be in a position where I might injure the wrong person.”

“Yeah,” Sokka shrugged, “I can understand that. I wasn't suggesting we march in start a fight though, I just meant if we did run into trouble we'd be fine. So, tonight we sleep under the stars, and tomorrow you enjoy your hero's welcome. Do you think Suki will come back for your coronation? I haven't seen her in two weeks, it's been torture!”

“I'm sure it has,” Zuko said tonelessly. He adjusted his position on the ground and appeared to stare into the distance.

Sokka frowned, then his eyes widened in realization. He leaped to his feet and waved his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. “Nothing like how it's been for you,” he said quickly, “I meant not being with her. Nothing to do with seeing. Unless you're just messing with me.” His eyes narrowed, “I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that.”

Zuko continued to not stare over the water to the horizon. “I didn't even notice your choice of words.” He sounded surprised at his own admission.

“Oh.” Sokka looked out over the water. Beyond the beach where they had landed was another island on which Sokka could just about make out the dots of houses indicating a village perched high on the cliffs. There was no beach there, just a sheer drop to the sea. The sea reflected the blue of the sky. It still seemed too early to be making camp, but to continue traveling would have been pointless. Sokka dropped back to the ground next to Zuko and appreciated the view for both of them. “So if not that, then what?”

Zuko shrugged wordlessly and ran a hand absently over the warm surface of the sand. “I was thinking about Mai,” he said after a long pause.

“Ah,” Sokka grinned. “When you get home, go talk to her. She'll take you back.”

“I broke up with her because I thought she deserved better. I still do. Nothing's changed.”

Sokka shook his head, “Plenty's changed. I know you didn't get your cure, and that stinks, but you've learned this firebending trick, you can beat soldiers in a fight, you can... catch bags I drop from Appa. Well, sometimes you can. Anyway, you're the Firelord, that's got to count for something.”

“I'm not the Firelord yet,” Zuko reminded him.

The Water Tribe boy shrugged dismissively, “You will be.” He frowned. “You will, right? I've never actually asked you, I just kind of assumed after you put those soldiers in their place.”

“I will,” Zuko confirmed. “I don't think my uncle would ever forgive me if I kept him from his tea shop any longer.”

Sokka laughed and lay back on the sand, eyes closed, face to the sun, resting the back of his head on the palms of his hands.

They sat in silence for a few moments, waiting for the others to return with supplies. Waves rippled against the shore and overhead a flock of birds drifted through the sky.

“Sokka?” said Zuko eventually.

“Hmm?”

Zuko raised a hand and pointed to the sky. “Don't you think that cloud looks like Appa?”

Sokka shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun and followed the arm pointing at nothing, the frowned and searched the sky unsuccessfully for the cloud, “I don't see it.” He turned to look at Zuko as he spoke and noticed the smirk on his face. He scowled. “Hey!”

“How do you manage to forget in the space of a few minutes?” The smirk shifted into a grin of pure pleasure. “You were right, Toph, he really is easy.”

“What?” Sokka twisted around to see Toph, along with Aang and Katara almost directly behind him with their arms full of firewood and food. “How long have you guys been there?!”

“Long enough to hear my pupil become a master,” Toph walked around and cheerfully dumped an armful of wood at Sokka's feet.

Sokka pulled his feet back quickly before his toes were crushed by the firewood and blushed pink with embarrassment. “That's just great. So now I'm going to have to put up with this from both of you?”

“Looks like,” Toph told him.

Zuko turned towards Sokka. “Your body temperature has raised,” he told him.

“He's blushing,” said Katara as she started to arrange the wood on the sand.

Zuko closed his eyes and concentrated. He felt Sokka's temperature cool slightly as the blood that had rushed to the surface of his skin drew back into his body. To his left on the sand, Katara was kneeling as he heard her rearranging the logs and pieces of wood into a pile ready to be lit. At the same time, he could feel Aang walking toward Appa, and Toph sitting down on the sand to his right. Momo chattered happily as he jumped down from the flying bison's head and swooped through the air toward Aang.

The sand was warm from the sunlight, and he could feel every bump and dip in its surface. The cool of the water contrasted with the dry heat of the air, and he could feel the small waves breaking on the shore. Zuko smiled to himself.

“What are you so happy about?” Sokka demanded.

“I can see everything,” Zuko said with awe.

Sokka rolled his eyes, “Suuuuure you can. You can't fool me again that quickly. Try again tomorrow.”

Zuko closed his eyes and focused on the world around him.


	16. Chapter 16

Zuko straightened his back and pressed it against the edge of the saddle, closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. He concentrated on the world around him. He was aware of the others sitting in the saddle by their body heat. Appa's presence beneath him was unmistakable. Not only was he a large expanse of heat in the middle of the cool air, but occasionally he would make a quiet noise, or sigh or yawn, and not only could Zuko hear it, but he could feel the slight movement of the saddle underneath him. Even the bison's slow, steady breathing was noticeable if he concentrated. He had never been aware of that before.

Air brushed past him, ruffling his clothes and hair and tickling his skin as though he were caught in an unending gust of wind. As the wind slowed and its angle changed, he knew that Appa had begun to descend toward the ground. As they moved lower in the sky, he could feel their descent in the gradual increase in the surrounding temperature. Probably not enough of a change for the others to notice, but he could. He extended his senses downward and waited until he could feel the ground.

When the ground appeared, it approached fast. Zuko felt the familiar judder of impact as the bison landed and then settled down on the ground to allow them down. As the others stood, stretched and began to climb down from the saddle, he remained sitting completely still, searching the surrounding area with his firebending. Aang, Katara and Sokka would have seen seen from the air anything they needed to be aware of, Toph needed contact with the ground before she could see, but Zuko needed concentration. He searched first for any body heat, which would indicate a welcome party or, since they weren't expected, a couple of surprised guards wondering what to do about the sudden arrival of a giant flying bison.

There were three people, all approaching from different directions but none of them close enough for him to make out any detail that might tell him who they were. It didn't matter. He had never 'seen' any of the people who lived or worked in the palace in this way before anyway, and he still had difficulty differentiating between his friends most of the time. In addition to the people, he could make out the walls of the palace not too far away. Its location gave him a good idea of exactly where in the grounds they had landed, and he calculated their position more exactly when he found the turtle-duck pond and several trees.

Concentrating on the grounds, he didn't notice at first that someone else had appeared through the door to the palace and was moving quickly towards them. He continued not to notice until a familiar voice shouted out to him from the direction of the sun-soaked palace walls. "Nephew!"

* * *

Iroh moved across the grass that covered most of the palace gardens at close to a sprint, much quicker than would be possible for most men of his size and age. The arrival of the Avatar's bison had caused quite a commotion in the palace, and as soon as he looked out of the window and saw the familiar white creature settling down on the lawn, he had began to run.

As he approached, Zuko's friends began to climb down from the saddle. Zuko remained there, sitting completely still with only the back of his head visible over the top of the saddle. When he called out to him, his nephew moved slightly. He didn't turn around, and look at him, but after a moment he stood and climbed down to the ground. Iroh reached him at almost the exact moment that his feet touched the grass, and before his nephew had the chance to speak, Iroh reached out and enveloped him in a tight hug.

He felt Zuko stiffen slightly before he relaxed into the familiar embrace, and Iroh allowed himself a moment of happiness, a moment where he could convince himself that everything was all right, because very soon he was going to find out the outcome of his nephew's journey, and although he hoped for the best, he did not expect the result that he desired.

Zuko recovered from the shock of his surprise attack and rearranged his expression into something resembling a smile. "Hello, uncle."

Iroh tightened his grip slightly, just for a moment, before he let go and took half a step backwards. "Zuko, it is good to see you again."

As he spoke, he looked carefully at his nephew. He looked much the same as he ever did. The rough skin that had marked the area where Azula's lightning had struck him had healed completely. The old burn was still there, of course, partially hidden by his hair, which had grown even longer since he had been gone. He aimed his gaze downwards slightly, as though hiding his eyes, and he stood very still. In his right hand, he held a long wooden stick, which he placed behind his back, inconspicuous, but not hidden from view.

At Iroh's words, a flicker of emotion crossed Zuko's face briefly, too quickly for him to identify it before it was smoothed away into neutrality. He took a deep breath, as though steeling himself to deliver unpleasant news, and slowly raised his head, revealing those golden eyes that Iroh knew so well. They stared unfocused ahead of him and his face twisted into the kind of smile that comes involuntarily as the brain tries to force the face not to show a different kind of emotion. He nodded. "I wish I could say the same."

That was the confirmation of his suspicions that he had been expecting, but had been hoping not to hear. He heard his breath catch noticeably in his throat and knew that Zuko had heard it too. Suddenly not sure what to do or say, he hesitated for what felt like a moment or two too long before he managed to speak. "Zuko, I am so sorry. I..." he paused and looked around the garden. The three guards that had approached as they landed were standing together, not too far away. They were all trustworthy, but this was a private matter. "This is hardly the place for a reunion, come inside, all of you, and I will make some jasmine tea." He reached for Zuko's hand, to guide it to his arm in order to lead him as he had before, but Zuko sensed the movement and pulled his hand back before his uncle could touch him.

"I don't need to be led," he said. "I can follow you for now, then as soon as I can, I need to start learning my way around again."

"Very well," Iroh told him, simply. "This way, everyone."

Iroh turned and began to walk toward the house. Every few steps, he felt himself turning around to check on his nephew. He was still there, walking several paces behind him, swinging the wooden stick he had been holding back and forth over the ground ahead of him before he walked on it. It was an action that had clearly been well practiced, he didn't appear to have to think abut what he was doing.

Zuko walked with a confidence that had been completely absent the last time he had seen him. There was no hesitation in his step, no fear or apprehension in his expression and no hand reaching out ahead of him for unseen obstacles. He appeared calm, but determined. Iroh wondered to himself whether, if the waterbenders had been unable to completely heal him, they had managed to restore some of his sight. Not enough, perhaps, for him consider himself cured, but enough to give him back some of his independence. Still, his eyes focused on nothing, staring blankly ahead, aimed downward slightly. If he could see at all, even if only a little, surely he would be looking around, taking advantage of what he had.

As they entered the house, Iroh stole another glance and noticed Zuko pause for a second. For the briefest of moments, he thought that he saw worry flicker across the teen's face, but as soon as it came, it was gone and he took another confident step forward.

The same day that he had arrived back at the palace, Iroh had commandeered a room for his tea room. It's previous function had been as one of many small sitting rooms that were rarely used anymore. The palace had been designed in a different time, when the Firelord would regularly entertain guests, often visiting dignitaries from the other nations. That hadn't happened for a long time, and so many of the rooms had sat empty for years.

It was at the back of the palace, facing out into the gardens. He had chosen it partly for the view but mostly for the fact that by mid morning, the sun had moved around enough not to shine inside and make it too warm for the delicate dried leaves he stored there. Most of his collection had remained in Ba Sing Se, awaiting his arrival back at the Jasmine Dragon, but he had brought a little with him and acquired more since.

He pushed the door open and held it as his guests walked through. He kept his gaze firmly on Zuko, who stepped into the room and then sideways, placing himself against the wall at the back of the room. He leaned back against the wall and waited until the others were all inside.

Iroh allowed the door to swing closed then indicated the center of the room with a sweep of his arm. "Please sit down, everyone. I have a new blend of jasmine and pomegranate I've been meaning to try. This seems like the perfect time."

As the others did as he asked and sat down, Zuko hesitated, still leaning against the wall, his expression creased into a frown of concentration and the confidence was suddenly replaced by uncertainty.

Iroh stood patiently nearby, waiting for an indication of what he should do. When none came, he reached out a hand, "Prince Zuko, do you require assistance?"

Zuko shook his head and closed his eyes. The look of concentration intensified and he took a series of uncertain steps forward. He found his way to an empty seat by touch and sat down with a tight expression on his face. "The walls are insulated against the heat," he explained. "And this side of the palace doesn't get much sun. Looking after your teas, uncle?"

"Of course," Iroh told him. He frowned, knowing he was missing something but unsure what.

"This is the first time I've been inside since we left the North Pole," Zuko added. "It's more difficult."

Katara reached over and touched his arm lightly. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Zuko nodded and, Iroh was surprised to see, smiled. Only slightly, and it was gone as soon as it came, but the expression had been genuine. "It just takes a bit more concentration," he said. "I might have to rely on my other senses a little more than I've become used to. Or..." he held out his right hand, palm upwards and called a flame to life. "Or keep fires burning in every room. Shouldn't be too difficult here."

Iroh watched the exchange with interest as he prepared the delicately scented tea. Once they finished, he turned towards his nephew and asked quietly, "Zuko, when you were able to find your way here, despite the fact that you were using a cane I thought perhaps the Water Tribe healers were able to restore at least some of your sight. But I am beginning to suspect that I was wrong."

Zuko shook his head once, quickly. "No. There was nothing they could do."

Although his tone sounded calm on the surface, underneath the words, Iroh could hear the same sense of loss he had heard in his nephew's voice many times during his banishment, whenever he spoke of home. It hurt him to hear it again.

Zuko was coping better than many would in his situation, but for someone who knew him well, it was clear that he was still in pain. "I am so sorry, Zuko," he told him as he handed him his cup.

Zuko shook his head dismissively.

"When you told me of your intention to travel to the North Pole, I knew that it was unlikely to result in a cure, but I hoped that perhaps I was wrong."

At that, Zuko paused with his cup halfway to his lips. He sat there, completely still for a moment before he extended his arm and put the cup down clumsily on the table, letting a little of the liquid spill over the edges. "You knew it wouldn't work?" he asked.

Iroh glanced at the puddle of tea around the edge of Zuko's cup. Wasted tea, beginning to soak into the polished wood, almost certain to leave a mark. He ignored it. "I knew it was unlikely that the waterbenders would be able to heal you," he said. "That is not the same thing as knowing they could not. There are few certainties in life."

"But you knew it would _probably_ be for nothing and you let me go anyway, on a fool's errand?"

Iroh bit his lip and refused to rise to the bait as he continued walking slowly around the table distributing cups of tea. "I hoped it would work, the journey gave you hope too. I assure you it was not for nothing. Had I knows the outcome of your trip, I would have still have insisted you go."

Zuko frowned and opened his mouth to respond, then thought better of it and instead reached for his drink. Iroh watched him slide his hand along the surface of the table until it hit the bottom of the cup before picking it up. Seeing that action, preformed deftly and without a pause to think filled him with both pride and sorrow.

"When I returned from Ba Sing Se, I found you in the garden, lost." Iroh continued. "You were so afraid, Zuko. I had never seen you like that, and it hurt me. Nothing I could do or say would have consoled you. Now, you have faced the world with the help of the people who care about you. When I look at you now, I see no fear. You have returned to me as the man you were always meant to become. The _Firelord_ you were meant to become."

A slight redness colored Zuko's cheeks and he turned his face away. "I had a very good teacher," he said, "and there's something else."

Toph beamed. "If you think this is impressive, you should see him fight," she said.

Iroh raised an eyebrow.

"I've stumbled upon a different use for firebending," Zuko explained. "I've been using it to sense heat sources. I can find people, that's how I followed you through the house, and different surfaces absorb different amounts of heat from the sun or a fire. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing."

Iroh listened to his nephew with amazement as a smile spread across his face. "That is wonderful. Like our earthbender friend, you have discovered a different way to see."

Zuko nodded, "In a way. It's... not like seeing, though." There was longing in his voice, and Iroh felt his stomach twist as his nephew's loss was conveyed much more strongly through those few words than Zuko could ever know.

He understood loss. He had lived with it for many years and used his experience to guide Zuko through his years in exile. Perhaps not with as much success as he would have liked at times, but the result had, for the most part been good. He could do it again. But for now, it was all he could do not the reach for his surrogate son once more. He stopped himself. He knew Zuko well enough to know that sympathy would not help him, it would only make him angry.

Besides, this was his nephew's return home. It should be a happy occasion, not one to dwell on things that could not be changed. "Perhaps it is not," he said, because Zuko's comment could not go unremarked, and certainly could not be disputed, "but everyone experiences the world in his own way. Each way has its advantages as well as disadvantages. To see without using your eyes may make clear things you would otherwise have overlooked."

"Well, that's definitely true," said Toph.

Iroh picked up his cup and inhaled the fragrance of the drink deeply. "Now, what does everyone think of the tea? I am thinking of adding it to the menu at my tea shop." Now that he knew he would be able to return.

"It's great," Aang told him, to the nods and general murmurs of approval from the others.

Iroh smiled widely. "Good. The trick with this one is not to leave the leaves in the water for too long, a minute is more than enough, and the tea will be light and fresh. Remember that, Zuko, are you paying attention? This is important, you need to know it for when I visit you."

Zuko scowled slightly and Iroh found himself staring at the familiar expression. His nephew's eyes stared unfocussed into nothing and Iroh wondered whether he would ever get used to that, but as it appeared he had no choice in the matter, he pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Zuko was learning to cope, it would be unfair of him not to do the same.


	17. Chapter 17

Zuko sat in the garden, by the turtle-duck pond. A gentle breeze ruffled his hair, still hanging loose around his face. It brought with it the fresh green smell of plants and cut grass, and the perfume of the garden's carefully tended flowers.

The date for the coronation was set. Only a few days from now, a week after his return, Zuko would stand before his people and accept the honor of becoming their leader. Part of him looked forward to it, part of him dreaded it. Not because he didn't want to lead. It was what he had been born to do and every setback that had threatened to place him on a course heading away from his destiny had been successfully overcome.

He wanted to be Firelord, but knew that it would be difficult. For the leader of a country there was constant pressure to prove himself worth of the task, even in the Fire Nation where the right to rule was passed down from parent to child, if people didn't believe him capable, they would find a way to remove him from the throne. That would have been a potential problem for him in any circumstances, only sixteen years old, already having been banished by his own father, he knew even before the battle with Azula that if he won, and if Aang won, he would still have to prove himself. Now, he had to prove not only that he was capable of ruling, but that he could do it blind.

He closed his eyes and silently cursed the darkness. He had discovered over the past few weeks that he didn't _need_ to see, but he didn't think he would ever stop missing his sight.

The words of the soldiers they had encountered in the woods still rang in his ears and he knew that it would take time before some people could accept him.

The soldiers had not yet made a re-appearance, as far as he was aware, but his method of travel had been much quicker than theirs and he suspected they were in no hurry to return knowing what they had done. He was no longer worried about them, but like-minded people had to be scattered around the country.

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind for the moment and tilted his face up towards the sun. He pushed aside also the thought of how much he wished he could see the pond, and the turtle ducks floating on its surface. He could sense them, their body heat not much above the temperature of the water. The pond was an expanse of cool suspended in the warmer ground and air.

Absently, he broke off a piece of bread from the stale half loaf in his hands and tossed it into the water. The ripples that it made as it landed, followed by those of the three turtle-ducks that quickly descended on it took several seconds to travel across the surface of the water and hit his legs as he sat with his feet dipped in the water. He smiled to himself and broke off another piece of crust. "Hello Katara, Aang." he said.

Katara inhaled quickly and he smirked a little. They moved quietly, but he had sensed the approaching body heat even as his attention had been on the turtle-ducks, and made an educated guess. Sokka and Toph had gone to explore the grounds, and his visitors felt like Katara and Aang somehow, in a way he couldn't quite put into words.

His uncle, sitting to his left leaning his back against the ancient tree that shaded half of the pond, turned to look at them. Zuko remained as he was, facing the turtle-ducks. He threw another piece of bread.

"Sokka's right," Katara told him, "you are turning into Toph."

"Come to tell me you're leaving?"

"How did you know that?" The frown on Katara's face was audible in her voice. He wasn't sure whether he had been able to hear facial expressions before, or whether it was a skill he had picked up since he lost his sight. Either way, it was definitely getting easier.

He shrugged. "I knew you wouldn't stay forever, I can tell you're getting bored. Oh, and Sokka told me this morning." He smiled to himself.

"Oh." Smile, but with a hint of irritation. He didn't know whether it was aimed at him or her brother. "Not bored," she told him, "but I am ready to go home. It's been a long time." Zuko nodded, he could understand homesickness. "We're staying for your coronation, of course, but then I need to let Gran-Gran know we're okay. Then..." she hesitated.

Aang sat down next to him and Zuko felt the ripples as the younger boy sunk his feet into the water and kicked them back and forth, disturbing the surface.

"Then..." he prompted.

"I'm going back to the North Pole to study healing with Yugoda. I'll always be a warrior first, but I want to master healing as well, so that the next time someone gets hurt, I'll know what to do."

Zuko nodded, "If it's what you really want to do, then great. I'm sure you'll be a master healer one day."

"I'm going with her," Aang interjected. "I'm going to learn to heal too."

Zuko frowned. "You are?"

"Why not? They let girls fight now, so I'm sure they'll let boys learn to heal. Besides, I'm the Avatar. Even if they don't normally, I'm sure they'll make an exception."

Zuko shook his head. "Exactly, you're the Avatar. You can't just disappear for months to the North Pole. You have duties."

Aang's voice grew defensive "I'm not going to disappear." He used a blast of air to propel himself up from the ground. The resulting gust blew the disgruntled turtle-ducks half way across the pond and they protested loudly. "Not again. I'll just be at the North Pole."

Katara took a step closer and placed a hand on Aang's arm. The Avatar's body temperature had raised slightly. That combined with the tone of his voice led Zuko to believe that he had hit a nerve. His instinct was to apologize, but it didn't seem right for him to leave with Katara when there was so much more he could be doing.

Katara didn't speak for a few moments, and Zuko knew he was missing something important. Pretending not to care, he threw more bread into the pond. The turtle-ducks swam back toward him cautiously, wary of another air blast. "Zuko, look – listen," she said eventually. "Aang is still a kid. We all are. He wasn't even supposed to know he was the Avatar until he was sixteen, but he's already practically mastered the elements and won a war. And it's not like we're going on vacation. He'd be entitled, but he's not. He's going to learn a bending technique."

Zuko turned to face her, trying to look apologetic. "You're right. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry, Aang. Of course you should learn to heal. I'm sure you'll be a great healer too."

"Well... good," said Aang.

"There's something else," Katara told him. "While I'm there, I'm going to learn as much about eyes and vision as I can. I'm going to learn how to heal you."

He shook his head and turned away again. "You can't heal me, Katara. The Water Tribe's best healer couldn't do it, you'd just be wasting your time trying."

"Well, it's my time to waste," she told him. "And I happen to believe you're wrong. People discover new techniques all the time. That's how progress works; a master teaches a pupil, who becomes a master and then learns something new, passes it on to their student, who learns something else. Look at Toph, before her no one would have even considered it was possible to bend the earth in metal. Or you. Is what you're doing with heat a normal firebending technique?"

Zuko didn't turn back. He could sense her just as easily with his back turned and it took away her advantage. He couldn't see her face, so why should she see his?

"I can do it, Zuko. I know I can. I don't know how long it's going to take, but one day I'm going to heal you."

Zuko nodded a little stiffly. She sounded so certain. But he knew that wanting or believing something to be true didn't make it so. But, sight... "That would," he cleared his throat, "that would be... nice."

Katara bit her lip as she heard the disguised hope in his voice, and prayed that she wasn't lying to him. "Come here," she said. She sat down next to him and gave him a tight hug. She punctuated it with a light kiss on the side of his cheek. "We're not leaving until the day after the coronation. You'll probably have so much going on you won't notice we're gone, and I'll come back and see you again soon," she told him, "and you'll see me too, I promise."

She got up and walked away, leaving Zuko staring into nothing, squeezing the half loaf of bread in his hand tightly between his fingers, the turtle ducks forgotten as he again considered the possibility of a cure.

Aang reached over and liberated the bread, broke off a few pieces and threw them to the shouting creatures. Iroh, who had been watching the scene passively from the shade of the tree, climbed quickly to his feet and hurried after Katara.

* * *

As Katara entered the palace and made her way to the room where she was staying, she heard footsteps behind her. Reaching automatically for the flask of water at her hip, she stopped and turned. She may be here at the invitation of Zuko, but this was the Fire Nation and she still didn't quite feel safe. When she saw Iroh walking swiftly along the hall she relaxed and replaced the stopper in the flask.

He walked toward her purposefully, not increasing or decreasing his speed now that she was waiting for him. When he reached her, before he said anything, he turned and looked around at the empty hall as though checking for anyone that might be listening. Satisfied that they were alone, he spoke. "Please do not give my nephew too much false hope, Katara. He is stronger than he realizes, but I fear he may not be able to take another great disappointment."

She shook her head. "It's not false hope," she insisted. "I know I can do this. I'm too determined for it not to work. I put my mind to it, I can find a way."

Iroh nodded. "You are indeed determined and single minded. That is something that you have in common with Zuko and that fact alone is enough to give me hope that you will achieve what you set out to do. I know little of healing beyond what I have seen others achieve, but if you will indulge an old man, let me give you your first lesson as a healer?"

He paused and waited for a response. Katara nodded.

"It is better to allow a wound to heal with a scar than to keep re-opening it in the hopes that it will heal cleanly. To do so only causes unnecessary pain. Zuko may regret what he has lost, but constantly offering the possibility of regaining his sight will deny him the opportunity to accept that he cannot."

"But if he can..." Katara stopped, nodded and bowed. She could Iroh's concern for his nephew etched into the lines of his face. "Thank you, I'll remember that," she told him. "But Zuko said he never gives up without a fight, and neither do I. I'm going to do everything I can to try to heal him."

Iroh smiled, "Then I believe you may, and I hope that you will." He turned away and walked back towards the door. Katara took a deep breath and sighed, then went into her room.


	18. Chapter 18

The Firelord's palace was like a maze. Toph navigated the halls and corridors like she had grown up there, vibrations carried though the stone floor allowed her to see around corners and through walls. She located Zuko in his bedroom and made her way in the right direction. Once to found the room, she knocked quickly on the wooden door, then pushed it open in one move. “Hey, Shuffles,” she said as she let herself in.

Zuko was sitting at a desk at the far side of the room, by the window. As she entered, he pushed back his chair and stood up quickly. “Toph. Custom dictates if you knock on a door you at least wait for a reply before you let yourself in. I could have been getting dressed.”

She smirked, “It'd be nothing I haven't seen before. Anyway, the floors are made of stone, I already knew what you were doing.”

“Oh?” he said.

“Yep, sitting around moping again. You'd better hurry up or you're going to be late for your own coronation.”

Zuko shook his head, “There's time yet. Anyway, it's _my_ coronation, it's not like they can start without me.” 

His chair scraped along the floor as he pushed it back underneath the desk and she heard a rustling of parchment as he rolled something up and placed it in a drawer. Toph frowned. “What was that?”

“It's nothing,” he told her.

“Oh really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

Toph decided to let it go for now. “So, everyone's leaving tomorrow, I guess they told you? Down to the South Pole, dropping Sokka off at Kyoshi Island on the way.”

Zuko nodded, “I heard. What about you? I take it you're not planning on visiting the South Pole?”

She shivered at the memory of the North Pole and shook her head. “No way. They do have earth under the snow down there, but I doubt I could do much with it. Anyway, I'll be happy if I never go anywhere near ice again for the rest of my life. I thought maybe I'd go home and visit my parents, but I don't want to end up trapped there being looked after for the rest of my life. I'm sure you understand that. So maybe I'll get Aang to drop me off somewhere on the way too and I can do a bit of exploring on my own.”

Zuko smiled. “Well of course you could do that if you want, but you're welcome to stay here for as long as you want, Toph.”

“Oh,” said the earthbender. “Well, that was easier than I expected. I had this whole speech about how my parents will be sending more people to kidnap me, and the wild animals, and angry firebenders...”

“All of which I'm sure you'd be able to handle without any problem,” Zuko told her. “But if you wanted to guilt me into letting you stay, you could have led with how much I owe you.”

“Too obvious,” she said, “but if you really don't mind me hanging around, that would be great. I know you don't really need any more lessons, but I'm sure there's something I could do. I could be a guard.”

Zuko shrugged, “How about you just be my friend?” He stood up and reached for his stick, then walked toward the door.

Toph followed him. “I can do that,” she said. “And as your friend, why don't you tell me what you were doing just now?”

“I'm going to be crowned Firelord,” he told her, deliberately misunderstanding. “Unless you have something more interesting that we could be doing.”

Toph ran a few steps in ahead of him and grabbed hold of his stick in mid swing. “Oh no you don't, Shuffles. You're keeping something from me, and I don't like it. I probably wouldn't even have noticed if you weren't being so deliberately secretive about it, so come on, out with it.”

Zuko frowned. “It's nothing, honestly.”

She waited silently for more information, feeling his heartbeat transmitted through the stone floor to her feet.

He sighed. “All right. How much do you know about colors?” he asked.

Toph loosened her grip on the stick and took a step backward. “I've heard of them,” she told him. “Beyond that, not a whole lot.”

“The darker a color is, the more light it absorbs. Black absorbs all light, that's why it's black, white reflects it all.” He sighed. “I feel like I'm speaking a language you don't understand.”

Toph crossed the room and sat down on the edge of Zuko's bed, keeping her feet in contact with the floor. “You are,” she told him. “Get to the point.”

“Okay, on a sunny day have you ever walked on one surface and it's cool, then stepped onto something else that feels hot?”

Toph nodded. “Sure.”

“You're feeling the difference between light and dark,” he told her. “When dark colors absorb the light, it turns to heat and makes them warm to the touch. Light colors reflect the light and stay cool in the sunlight.”

“Okay..?”

“The parchment is light colored.” Zuko explained. “Ink is dark.”

Toph frowned as she nodded again, trying to see the relevance of these two new pieces of information. Suddenly it dawned on her. “You're using heat to read.”

“Yes.” he paused. “Well, no. But I'm trying to. It's completely different to what I've been doing so far. I have to put the page in the sunlight first, touch the writing directly and work out what each character is before my hand blocking the light cools it down. I can't do it yet, but with practice, maybe.”

“Wow.” Toph jumped down from the bed and walked over to the desk. She opened the drawer and pulled out one of the rolled up sheets. She spread it out on the desk and ran a hand over the smooth surface. “If you tell anyone I said this, I'll earthbend you into the ground and leave you there for a week, but I'm actually kind of jealous.”

“It might not work,” he told her.

Toph shrugged, “One day someone will come up with something to let all blind people read,” she said.

“Maybe you could think of something,” Zuko suggested.

She shook her head and placed the parchment carefully back in the drawer, “Nah, I don't have the patience for reading,” she told him, “I'd much rather be doing something fun. Like attending a coronation. Shall we?”

Zuko started to walk toward the door again.

“Wait a minute,” Toph said.

He sighed. “If you keep doing this I really will be late, and that's not going to look good.”

“Yeah, well talking of looking good...” she grabbed hold of the branch still in his hand and shook it from side to side to ensure he knew what he was talking about. “You don't really need this anymore, do you?”

Zuko tightened his grip on the top of the branch and held on until she let go. “Not all the time, I suppose, but I'll never know when I do. If I miss something on the ground, it could save me an embarrassing fall.”

Toph shrugged and Zuko felt the slight change in the shape of her body heat as she did. “This is your home. You don't use a cane in your own home. You don't need to use a cane at all anymore, Zuko, you know exactly what's going on around you.”

She reached out to take it from him, and he felt the motion, guessed its purpose and moved the stick into his other hand. “Don't,” he said.

“See what I mean?”

“Yes, but don't, Toph.”

A note of warning crept into his voice and she backed down slightly. “Why not?”

“It was a gift. From a very good friend.”

Toph backed off a full step and laughed, not unkindly, but still in a way that made him think he was being mocked. “It's an old branch that I found on the ground in the forest. Buried under a bunch of dead leaves.”

He flexed his fingers over the rough surface of the wood, feeling the now familiar texture on his skin. “Why do you care if I keep it?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“I don't,” she told him, “But you don't need it, and that thing is like a symbol to the rest of the world telling them that you're blind. Now that's fine if you need it to get around without walking in to things, but you don't. You said you didn't want to appear weak, and you seem to have forgotten how the rest of the world sees.”

“I'm not weak.” Zuko told her. “I know that now, and I can prove it to anyone who dares to challenge me.”

“As long as you know using that in front of everyone today means you're more likely to need to prove it.”

Zuko hesitated. “I know what people will think,” he told her, “but I also know what they'll think if I make a mistake and trip over something.”

Toph shook her head, “You won't make a mistake. I taught you better than that. If you wanted to use a cane at the ceremony, you should've gotten a real one. I don't know about you, but old tree branch doesn't exactly scream 'Firelord' to me.”

Zuko's hand tightened briefly on the top of the wood, then he sighed and reluctantly leaned the branch against the wall. “I don't want to come back here and find it gone,” he told her warningly. Then made another attempt to leave the room. This time there was no comment from his teacher.

* * *

It felt strange to be walking without his cane. During the days since he had arrived back, he had spent a lot of time walking around the palace, trying to create a new mental map based not on sight. Counting steps, feeling for slight changed in the texture of the walls. The palace had been built to keep its inhabitants cool even in the middle of a Fire Nation summer, so inside it was rarely warm enough to navigate by firebending without first heating the room. He could get a vague idea, enough to keep him from walking into walls, but little else. It was frustrating, like going back in time several weeks to before he had learned most of what he could do. He hoped that with time, he would improve to the point where he could sense more inside, but for now he had to use other methods. One of which was his cane, but he knew that Toph was right about the message it would send.

As he counted steps in his head, the sound of his feet on the stone floor echoed loudly in the long, empty corridor as they walked. This was something else he had never noticed before. If he listened carefully, he could hear the difference in the size of a room by the way his footsteps or his voice echoed.

The coronation was held at midday, when the sun was highest in the sky. The door leading to the courtyard was open, but with a curtain pulled across. Heat from outside spilled into the building, allowing Zuko to sense much more at this end of the hall. Someone was sitting on the ground by the entrance. He focused his concentration on the shape their body heat made, but although he had become much better at identifying people, it was still difficult, and someone sitting had a completely different shape to someone standing. Before he he he could identify who it was, Toph answered the question for him.

“Hey Twinkletoes, not watching from out front?”

“Zuko wants me to go out there with him,” Aang told her.

“Oh.” Toph elbowed Zuko sharply in the side. “You asked him and not me?” 

Zuko could tell from her tone of voice that she wasn't serious. He shrugged, “I thought if everyone who helped in the war was standing out there, we'd outnumber the audience.”

“No stick?” asked Aang.

Zuko flexed the fingers of his right hand that had grown accustomed to holding the branch and shook his head. “My hand feels empty,” he admitted, “I don't know what to do with it.”

“Wave,” said Sokka's voice from behind him. The Water Tribe boy was approaching with someone that could only be Katara next to him, from the direction Zuko and Toph had come. “A lot of waving. And smile. Try to make it look like you're glad to be here. You look so miserable most of the time.”

Katara punched Sokka lightly and took a step toward Zuko. “Don't listen to him. You look amazing.”

“Thanks,” Zuko said and tugged lightly on the ceremonial robes, “I was a little worried I had something on inside out...”

She ran a hand quickly down the front of his robes as though brushing out a crease and shook her head, “No, it's perfect. I prefer your hair loose, though.”

He shrugged, “Tradition,” he said by way of an explanation. After so many months without it, the topknot felt unfamiliar. But it felt good too, to be able wear it again.

“Just promise me you won't shave the rest of your head again,” she told him.

Zuko nodded his agreement, then turned to Aang. “Ready?” he asked.

The Avatar got to his feet and nodded, and together the two former enemies walked through the curtain to face the cheering crowd.

* * *

It had been a difficult few weeks, Zuko reflected as he poured boiling water onto the crushed leaves of his uncle's favorite tea. The sun had set and he had lit a fire in the hearth of Iroh's tea room. The warmth spread throughout the room, touching every surface, bringing it into focus.

The ceremony had gone exactly to plan. Toph had, as always, been right in her advice, and he was glad that he had left the stick behind. With Aang by his side, he had knelt to receive the royal sigil, and the cheers an applause of the crowd had almost made up for the fact that he couldn't see them. Almost, but not quite.

Slouched on a cushion on the floor by the fire, Sokka was drawing something, while Aang and Katara sat close together by the table. Toph sat close to Sokka, leaning against the wall.

He had changed into more casual attire, taken out the royal insignia and let his hair hang loose around his face. It may not be traditional, but he was off duty and it was comfortable. Besides if anyone disapproved, he was the Firelord. They would be unlikely to say anything.

That felt strange to think. He was the Firelord. It didn't seem quite real.

He wrapped his left hand around the top of a cup and poured the tea slowly, feeling the rising heat of the hot liquid as it filled it. Before it reached the top, he stopped and moved onto the next one, repeating the procedure.

Sitting at the other side of the table, he was aware of his uncle's presence. Although firebending couldn't tell him anything about facial expression or subtle motions, he could sense, perhaps through experience, that he was being closely observed. His actions obviously met with approval, as Iroh offered no comment.

Zuko slid the cup across the table toward him, and his uncle accepted it with a nod of thanks.

He crossed the room, handing out cups to his friends as they sat together for their final evening before most of them would depart. Aang, Katara and Sokka would leave early in the morning, and his uncle planned to stay long enough to satisfy himself that Zuko didn't need his help, before he, too, left the capital and returned to his tea shop in Ba Sing Se. Of course, he gave no indication as to how long that would be, and Zuko suspected he would stay longer than was strictly necessary.

This was the beginning of a new era for the world, a time of peace and prosperity. But every new beginning means the end of something else. Although in this case it meant the end of the war, it also meant the end of their group, at least how they were now. They would be together again, he knew that, but in many ways this was the end.

At the other side of the room, Katara and Aang laughed at whatever Sokka was drawing, while Toph joined in, with her non-existent opinion of his artistic skills. All around him were the sounds of laughter and fun, sounds that he hoped would soon echo around the whole world, because of what they had done together. He held the cup of tea underneath his nose and inhaled deeply, enjoying the sweet aroma before he took a sip, thinking as he did that even in the darkness that surrounded him, the future had never appeared brighter.


End file.
